


House Six

by unluckitty



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Additional minor characters - Freeform, Bittersweet Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le, Slow Burn, Small Towns, Traumatic Backstory, many odd things happen but that was on purpose, maybe?????, this fic is my baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:15:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 27,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22770859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unluckitty/pseuds/unluckitty
Summary: Renjun has lived his entire life in perfect cycles. Jeno dares to question it.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

“Exactly, why do I need to leave again, mother?” Jeno retorted whilst the person in question huffily packed up half his room. She sighed for about the fourth time in the past five minutes and just simply said,

“It’s good for you.”

“Is there at least wifi?”

“Why would there be?”

“There’s no wifi?” Jeno asked incredulously. His mother closed up the suitcase and stood up. 

“Socialise more. It’ll be a good experience for you.”

“I don’t wanna stay with...whoever I’m going to!” He gestured wildly but to no effect; his mother had already made her mind up. 

“Too late.” The door closed on him, and Jeno slumped onto his bed. Maybe tonight would be the last time he would sleep here. He quickly got his phone out to text his friends the news of no wifi, to which they replied with half good-lucks and half sucks-to-be-yous. His bed seemed a lot warmer that night. 

It was too early in the morning for this. Too early as in dawn, when Jeno was bundled into the family car to be dropped off...wherever. He could’ve slept in the car, but a feeling at the back of his head told him otherwise. Maybe he regretted it, maybe he didn’t- it was supposed to be becoming morning, yet how come it was getting darker? There were endless fields of countryside on either side of him, yet how come there were no animals?

He looked out in a mixture of curiosity and cautiousness, almost expecting the road to never end, for him to be in this car for eternity. Because that’s what it felt like, and that’s what he hoped would happen: never reach their destination.

The fields got duller as the sky turned more colourless, and Jeno could almost feel the colour from himself being sucked out too. His mum didn’t say a word on the journey, and neither did he. The only thing speaking was the GPS, and not even out of comfort. “Turn left. Go straight for 15 kilometers” then silence for the next twenty minutes. “Turn right on the roundabout, third exit. Go straight for 7 kilometers.” Yawn, yawn. Only his thoughts could entertain him now, and even they weren’t very amusing. 

“The food there better be good. Will I have to milk a cow?” It must’ve been hours until they reached some sort of civilisation, and that wasn’t even the final destination; simply a petrol and lunch break. Jeno questioned why he didn’t just take a train or go to stay with friends instead. He got such a vague answer that it might as well have been from the stars. 

He got drowsy after lunch, as you do, and his food sat in his stomach whilst green whizzed by. Apparently this half of the journey was longer than the first, yet he closed his eyes and when he opened them, the car was pulling into a gravel car park. Behind it, was a modest farmhouse, looking like it had seen its fair share of reluctant visitors, and a small road with houses dotted on either side of it. No one had come to greet them; no one was waiting. 

“Good, they all don’t care about me,” he thought slyly as he unloaded his luggage. He didn’t know what he was expecting anyway, maybe some haunted house? A mansion? A run-down apartment?

“I’m leaving now, Jeno.” His mother interrupted his thoughts. “Walk down there,” she said pointing to the road, “and find house number six.” Before Jeno could give her a quick instinctive hug, for old times sake, she was already in the car starting the engine. So much for being a mother. 

The road had an eerie feel to it, yet it now felt like a home. Some houses had letter boxes open and bursting. Some had overgrown weeds for gardens, but some were well kept and growing apples. Were they even in season?

“House six...house six…” Jeno’s suitcase dragged on and became heavier with every step. “House s- house six! House….six.” He exclaimed out loud but was quickly let down. It wasn’t nearly as interesting as he had hoped; the most striking feature of the house were the vines on the bricks, but from what he had seen so far, it was same old. Still, he walked up to the door and knocked. Twice, for good measure. But no answer. Three times, for luck. A loud sigh came from the inside, and a boy about his age opened the door and oh my....

He was clearly tired, but there was an air of dignity about it, kind of like “Yeah, what about it?” The way he was leaning against the doorway too and cocking his head in a quizzical manner. A cat sniffing his legs snapped Jeno out of the trance, as well as the boy himself. 

“What do you want?”

“I wa- I was told to come here? I’m Lee Jeno?”

“Okay, Lee Jeno, what do you want?” This boy was really testing his very limited social skills today. 

“Can- May I be let in? I was told to come here by my mum bu-”

“Ah, another one of yous. Seen too many in my time. Come in, but rule one is to never go to the room at the end of the corridor.” Jeno lugged his suitcase up the extra steps to the doorway. 

“Oh? Why is that?” He asked, thinking there would be finally something interesting about his stay.

“My room, my business. And take off your shoes here.” Cold, okay. Thankfully, as soon as he stepped in the scent of chocolate hit him like a slap. 

“Renjun! Your favourite chocolate cookies!” Came a cheery voice from presumably the kitchen. It felt inviting, and Jeno breathed again. So his name was Renjun, huh…

This Renjun sighed and roughly pushed him in the general direction of the voice. 

“Go. And get me some cookies while you’re there.” Jeno decided to play the game; might as well make his stay fun while he could, right? He stood still and turned to face the back of said Renjun-boy, who was stalking to the room at the end of the corridor. 

“Why should I do that?”

“Didn’t you know? You’re here to work now.” Renjun replied without missing a beat, still walking to the room at the end of the corridor. 

“Isn’t it less work to just get the cookies now?”

“Renjun!!” Came the voice again just at that moment. The shorter boy sighed, and turned around. A chill washed over Jeno as Renjun paced past. A chill that asked all sorts of questions. Just before opening a door, he called to Jeno,

“Aren’t you coming? Stop standing there like a statue.”

“Well, statues are beautiful,” he reasoned, still dragging his suitcase behind him. He was surprised the wheels were still intact. There was no reply to what he thought would be a witty response, instead the door opening, Renjun obtaining his cookies and leaving as soon as he entered. He brushed past Jeno and even though they didn’t make eye contact and neither said a word, he could feel Renjun’s eyes telling him to shut up. 

He gazed back down the corridor at Renjun speed-walking to his room at the end of it, marvelling at how someone could care so little about first impressions. 

“Are you Jeno by any chance?” An old lady was monitoring the stove, scents of caramel coming from it. 

“Yes. I’m Jeno.” 

“Finally. Your key is on the countertop, the room number is on it. Get settled and be here for dinner at eight o’clock. You’ll find everything else in your room.”

“...oh. Okay. Thank you ma'am.” He didn’t dare take a cookie for himself. 

His room turned out to be musty, but live-able. Cosy, even. At least there was an open window looking out onto the road and his room was close to the bathroom. There hadn’t been a peep from other rooms, and he assumed that everyone else was asleep, or out. Maybe even invisible. Who even stayed here anyway? How did his mother come across this place? And how would he know that he wasn’t going to be kidnapped tonight? 

He thought in vain, pulling out stuff he would need for the night and throwing it on the bed behind. The mattress wasn’t as thick as his at home, but it would have to do. And the blanket was more like a towel, but it would have to do. Then came a knock at the door, and it was none other than the boy who basically told him to shut up before he’d opened his mouth. Jeno mimicked Renjun’s posture when he opened the door, but his shoulder was gradually sliding down the door frame. Definitely charming.

“Old ma’s been calling you for the past minute or something, you deaf or something?”

“You must’ve heard wrong. I didn’t hear a thing.” Renjun pulled him out of the room forcefully and pushed him towards where he came from. 

“Well go see yourself then. She’d appreciate some friendly visitors every now’n again you know.” Jeno stood there, contemplating on whether he should just shove his way back into his room, but ended up pulling Renjun along with him. He was surprised at how smooth his skin was; in an almost supernatural way. His fingers were short but slender, and Jeno couldn’t help but notice how well they fit between his. 

“You come too then. You’re the one causing me all this trouble anyway.” Surprise number four since coming here (but who was counting?): Renjun didn’t let go, but let himself be tugged along. Jeno even forgot the common courtesy to knock before entering, resulting in a very surprised “old ma”. 

“Has anyone ever taught you to knock? Kids these days. In my day-” she ranted on, and Jeno quickly learned the hard way that “old ma” has a short temper. Quite a short one.

Renjun was still holding his hand, but leaning against the door smirking in amusement at the scene. Damn him and his cute face. He snuck a cookie during the kerfuffle, past a guilty-for-no-actually-good-reason Jeno and satisfyingly chewed it, seeing himself out. 

Having been sent back to his room with being threatened if it happened again, he wouldn’t eat dinner, shook Jeno up quite a bit. People around here don’t take things lightly, huh, he thought as he brought his things to the bathroom to wash up. He barely did any physical activity that day yet his jacket reeked of sweat. Hopefully there would be a washing machine somewhere in the house he could use for that; there was a drying line in the front with surprisingly only 2 sets of clothes on them, presumably belonging to old ma and Renjun. 

But that was a high hope to have. 

Cold water trickled over him, even on the hottest water setting. But then suddenly in the middle of his shampooing, it became boiling hot and he shrieked from the temperature change. It probably wasn’t even boiling hot, but he had gotten used to the cold water and it burnt his skin (again, probably not but it felt like it). A voice called from the outside,

“You didn’t turn on the heating, you muppet!” Renjun, again. When would this boy leave him alone?

“My name’s Jeno thanks!” He called back out, adjusting the temperature to the coldest setting now for warm water. There was no answer. Then, some sniggering. 

“Same thing!” 

Jeno decided to play along, and fake gasped. 

“How dare!” He could hear muffled laughter from outside. At least one of them was having fun with it. “Also, what a weak insult! I’d like to think that I’m not _just_ a muppet please!” More laughter. But needless to say, that was probably Jeno’s most eventful shower of his life. 

There was (thankfully) no one outside the door after Jeno showered, and he freely shook out spare droplets from his hair before slapping on a cap. There was now some sort of savoury pie baking from the kitchen, and Jeno wondered if Old Ma ever took a break. Sounds of video games came from the room at the end of the corridor, and faint screams of frustration. Temporarily forgetting rule number one, he cracked open Renjun’s door, towel still on his shoulder, and peeped in. To his surprise, Renjun was knocked out on his bed (which looked just like his- he had assumed Renjun lived here permanently and would at least have a thicker mattress and duvet), and the video games were just a recording. From YouTube…

“So there _is_ wifi here?” He said to no one in particular, but loud enough to wake Renjun up. He yawned before casting a glare in his direction. 

“What did I say rule one was?” He squinted and put on his glasses. Oh god, he was kind of cute with them on. Nonetheless, Jeno snapped out of it and sheepishly backed out of the room. 

“To not. Come here.”

“Exactly. Now scram.” Renjun was surprisingly calm about it, and Jeno put that due to the fact that he had just woken up. 

“And don’t come back,” he said, attempting to close the door on Jeno but instead it was kept open by the taller, who pushed further,

“But what if I do? What will you do then?” Even with my glasses on, he’s an eyesore, Renjun jokingly thought. Jokingly because...his damp-ish hair made him look prettier than before. But that didn’t stop his witty brain. And damn that witty brain because he ended up stuttering, 

“So-something reeea-aal bad will happen.” Now the tables had turned- what kind of weak response was that, Renjun? He expected to be laughed at, as usual, but instead got a firm hand on his shoulder and a lopsided smile. His shoulder flinched at the touch, but slowly relaxed again.

“Somehow, I doubt that claim.” Jeno closed the door behind him, leaving a bit of a stunned Renjun. 

“Now to investigate if there’s wifi here…” Jeno obviously had his priorities straight, as a messy and unkempt suitcase of his possessions lay rejected opposite his bed. Low and behold, there was, but with no password. There had been a note left on his bed, as Old Ma told him, but it was instructions to operate various appliances, as well as house rules (rule one: clean up after yourself, take that Renjun).

As it turned out, there was only Renjun and Jeno at the dinner table that night, and Jeno didn’t dare talk to Renjun anymore today knowing how unpredictable he had been so far. Old Ma was according to Renjun, “doing old lady things like the old lady she is”. 

The pair sat in silence for twenty minutes while they ate, Renjun gobbling his share down like a starved animal and finishing before Jeno was even halfway done. He eyed Renjun washing up his dish and stalking out the kitchen, no words said. Which left only Jeno, his now going-cold pie and the whirring of the heater. And his thoughts.

He had only been in House Six for at most five hours, yet had somehow discovered a lot about its inhabitants. He found Renjun peculiar, but intriguing in his own weird prankster-kinda-of-rude-shy way. Jeno pushed his chicken around the plate, still in thought. There was still a part of him that wanted to escape; go home. Cause so much trouble that they'd send him back. But would that really be worth it? It looked like Renjun had tried that at least once a week by now without success. Maybe he actually had and that wasn't even an assumption. 

Who knows, maybe they'd torture him with endless work tomorrow. Just then, Old Ma popped her head round with door, arms laiden with cloth bags of food and other things. Jeno quickly got up to help, and Old Ma accepted his help. He placed the bags on the counter and went back to eating, expecting at least a thank you. But nothing. Perhaps she didn't feel like talking, he thought. He would ask Renjun about it later- if he'd let him. 

Meanwhile, Renjun had stared into a space and boom, his food was somehow already in him. Spacing out was a regular occurrence of his day, sometimes accompanied by daydreams of the bright city lights he so missed. He may hate the people there, but he would never forget the evening rainy traffic every Friday, laughter of children at the Town Square where he had gone only rarely, cosiness of street cafes with their fairy lights. Yes, he wouldn't forget the city.

But now he was here, and probably to stay. No one had told him yet; no one ever told him anything. His bedroom here was fun compared to his one at home though: it may not have carpet, or a full screen television, or an attached bathroom, but he could appreciate the plainess for once. Renjun didn't belong here, but that was fine. He hadn't yet found his place of belonging, and that was okay, he felt. He studied himself in the bathroom mirror; so, which personality to try next?

Despite a substantially sized mattress, Jeno still found it hard to sleep. He tossed and turned until early morning, and there was a point when he contemplated waiting to watch the sunrise; it was no use trying to get sleep at that point. But still, his room remained dark, the door closed and the rest of the house silent as far as he could hear. There wasn’t much to stare at on the ceiling: now that his eyes had adjusted to the dark, he could make out yellowed wallpaper and the old light that flickers when turned on for the first five minutes. He didn’t have a duvet like at home, but the house was well-insulated, and he felt like there were at least a thousand pillows on him in place of a blanket. 

All he had, was his thoughts. It seemed to have been like that all day. Jeno didn’t dare go check the time on his phone, in case it was still six hours till morning. 

He wished he could manipulate time, and just go home.

“No, don’t jump to conclusions, Jeno,” he scolded himself mentally. He crept up to the window, mesmerised by the glimmering of stars; something he didn’t see often at home. There were at least fifty from his view, and he wondered who else was out there, gazing up too. Would it be his friends? Would it be his soulmate? He pondered on the subject of soulmates for a while, absent-mindedly staring at the stars until his neck consciously hurt. He pondered how close they were, and what they were like. What was their life like? These were the things running through his mind, as he moved to sit at the end of his bed cross legged. It may have been beautifully rare to see the stars, but he couldn’t help but yearn to go home now- he missed his own room, friends and even his desk where he would every so often have a mental breakdown at. He lay back down, but still wasn’t able to sleep. Perhaps that was a good thing however, as someone knocking on his door startled him to sit up again. No one came in, even when he called them to. By this point, he could probably figure who it was, but why was he at his door at this hour? 

Jeno got up, and cracked open the door to see a very annoyed looking Renjun. Annoyed, tired, but...cute, in his pyjamas. But almost ghost-like.

“Old Ma told me to check up on you before I went to sleep.”

“And you’re only going to sleep now?” He whispered, significantly quieter than Renjun. As if reading his mind, Renjun went, 

“It’s fine, she doesn’t have the best of hearing. And yeah, what about it?” 

“What we-what were you doing?” Jeno dared to ask. He didn’t expect an answer, but Renjun stil replied, 

“Looking at the stars. It was rare where I used to live,” then he made a strange sound, as if he said too much. Renjun backed away from the door, looking like he wanted to run back to the room at the end of the corridor. Jeno turned around, the door still open, and sat on the edge of his bed, motioning for Renjun to sit by him. What would be the harm in that?

“I can’t sleep anyway. Tell me some stories. Wouldn’t that be good for getting to know each other?” Unfortunately, that just seemed to spook Renjun even more, and he retreated further into the darkness of the corridor. 

“Maybe another day,” he muttered, taking off for his room. Jeno stared at him, jogging back to his room at the end of the corridor. And it was there and then when he concluded: he would get to know Renjun before he left House Six. 

Renjun was usually more cautious than this. The darkness of his room was comforting, wisps of moonlight dancing around the blinds because he hadn’t closed them yet. Maybe he wouldn’t, just for tonight.

Immersed in his bubble, he instinctively touched a last fading bruise on his upper arm; he was healing. It didn’t hurt as much now; he didn’t hurt as much, now. Something was still missing though, and as he lay there entranced, the breeze whispered something. But he couldn’t understand it. When has he ever been able to understand? No one told him anything, anyway.

The breeze kept circling, murmuring sounds of a different language he wasn’t capable of understanding, and Renjun’s eyes drooped shut, gently. He fell asleep clinging onto his own bruise, whilst the stars sang their tuneless lullaby. 

There were no roosters to signal the sound of dawn, but Jeno didn’t need that anyway- he had practically been lying awake all night. Maybe he had gotten at most three hours of sleep? That can’t have been healthy. Still, he begrudgingly trudged to the bathroom to wash up, and was met by an equally dazed Renjun brushing his teeth at the sink. He spat out his toothpaste and looked at the two of them in the mirror;

“Thank god neither of us are morning shower people.” Good, he seemed a bit more tame today. “By the way you look horrible, wash your face,” he instructed, wiping his own and heading out the bathroom to change into proper clothes. So much for that thought. Jeno shook his head and sighed; it was too early for whining about anything (it really wasn’t but it felt like it), and simply ran his face under freezing water to wake up. Renjun must’ve turned the water heating off as he headed out, probably out of habit to be fair. He brushed his teeth with cold water, washing his face (as Renjun said), with cold water. He swept his hair back to untangle some knots, although there weren’t many this morning as he lay awake all night fiddling with various things including his hair. Once he was satisfied he looked respectable, he headed back to his room, to change as well, bumping into Renjun in the corridor wearing basically the same clothes from the day before but different colours. He expected a harsh or snarky remark, but there was nothing. You could never know about this dude, Jeno thought, getting changed into light clothing and throwing on a flannel. 

Breakfast was brooding silence. If there was something to be said, it never would be, as words hung unsaid in chilly morning air strolling through the backdoor. Just like the evening before, Renjun finished his meal inhumanely fast, washed up and left the room. Jeno had only just finished his portion of dry toast. Old Ma was nowhere to be seen, and he was rather lost as to what he should do after he was done washing up. So naturally, he headed to his room. No, that was a lie: he headed to the room at the end of the corridor. 

Something furry brushed by his legs...and meowed. Jeno bent down to rub the cat between the ears which she (“She? Yeah, she,” Jeno confirmed) seemed to enjoy very much, and settled by his feet hoping for more. Jeno sat down and she started playing with his socks. He absentmindedly continued petting the cat as more thoughts poured in that he was too self-conscious to say out loud- you never know in these types of houses in the middle of nowhere. The walls could have ears. 

At least he wasn’t lonely, and the house didn’t appear to be haunted ( _appear_ to be. Renjun could be a ghost for all he knew. There was a part of him that hoped not). 

The cat, apparently bored of being petted, jumped up and walked towards Renjun’s room, despite it having a closed door. Jeno followed suit, thinking he probably had nothing better to do (half his suitcase was _still_ yet to be unpacked...so yeah, nothing better to do). The cat meowed loudly outside Renjun’s room and before Jeno could walk away and not let Renjun notice he too was outside his room, Renjun opened the door. First, he saw the cat, who he bent to pet and noticed pale yellow socks behind her. He suspiciously looked up, almost hoping it wasn’t Jeno. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked, more roughly than he intended. But he had already said it anyway, what was the point of correcting himself? Jeno was scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I followed the cat here-”

“Are you good at chemistry by any chance?” Renjun blurted out. He opened the door a bit further, revealing to Jeno stacks of textbooks and papers laid out on a desk behind the door. 

“Kind of? Why?” 

“Good, you can help me.” Renjun walked back into his room and sat back down at his table, lit by morning sun. Jeno teasingly hung around the door, not stepping in as implied he should. 

“What about rule one?” He raised an eyebrow in joking sarcasm. 

“Then I’ll just bring my things out there,” he gathered some papers and pens and brought them to where Jeno was standing and the cat had left. “Are you gonna sit down or what?” Jeno sat as told. Not everything on the papers were foreign, thank god. 

“Now what?”

“Help me balance these equations first then help with the mole calculations.” Oh? That was it?

“It’s just maths though?” Renjun leaned over, threateningly but also...not really. He looked at Jeno square in the eye, defiantly keeping contact.

“Would you rather be out _there_ helping Old Ma with the garden or something?” He gestured vaguely to the outside of the house. Maybe Jeno _would_ rather do that.

“N-no. I think I’m good.” He stammered. Renjun straightened back up and smiled a cheshire cat smile. 

“I thought so. So how do I get the oxygens balanced on this side?” 

“Erm...the equations aren’t correct, first of all,” Jeno pointed out. “Sodium carbonate is Na2CO3, not NaCO3.” He worked efficiently, explaining as he went. This was more like revision for him but apparently this was new for Renjun. A lot of _this_ was new to Renjun: sitting on the floor outside his bedroom, learning the content he was supposed to be taught not teach himself, with a complete stranger. 

“...Renjun? Do you get it?” Jeno snapped his fingers in his face, new writing appeared scrawling on the page. Renjun shook his head. 

“You don’t get it? Well see the moles-”

“No! I get it!”

“Oh,” Jeno said. “Then my work here is done?” He made to get up, but was stopped by a gently urgent hand. 

“Actually...no. I still need some help memorising the other formulas. If you don’t mind.” Renjun became suspiciously shy that moment, but with an air of apologeticness. Not that he had anything to apologise for. Jeno sat back down, and looked through the rest of the notes, but they were quickly snatched back by Renjun. 

“I’ll get the sheets relevant.” He brought his knees to his chest as he organised which papers were “relevant”. Truth be told, he was shaking on the inside; none of this was planned out and Renjun still had no idea how to act. It was trial and error and had always been, and sometimes the wrong guesses led to _this_.

Jeno scanned over the notes, taking in the impeccably neat handwriting. 

“Your handwriting’s very pretty,” he off-handedly complimented. It wasn’t a lie. There wasn’t an answer, as Renjun tried to hide his face behind the sheets he was looking through. Jeno carried on reading the notes, at this point unfazed by no response. 

“I can’t say the same for yours,” Renjun retorted back at last, setting aside half the pile of papers. 

“Then maybe you could teach me,” Jeno bluntly said, flicking through the new sheets. One thing he did notice, oddly, was that the notes had no colour. They were all monotone black pen, including the diagrams. All set out in bullet point fashion, all simply stating what they needed to and nothing more. Jeno wondered how many pens Renjun must go through with every topic. 

“You’re supposed to be teaching me, not the other way around,” Renjun now changed his position to cross legged. 

“Jeno?” Old Ma’s voice rang through the corridor, but she wasn’t in it. As if on reflex, Renjun shoved the papers over the threshold between the corridor and his room, and rotated so he could go in as well. 

“Lee Jeno?” her voice came again, and this time she was at the end of the corridor. “Come here, young man.” Jeno was on his own again, and before he knew it, Renjun’s door had closed on him, making it look like it was just him sitting at the end of the corridor like a fool. He snapped back to his senses and quickly got up, trying to avoid strike two. But of course, that was inevitable. 

"That was a close one." It had become Renjun's little inside joke to think this everytime he was nearly caught "not doing work". Although this time he technically was. Maybe it was just a gut instinct. Sighing, he stacked up the papers onto his desk again. Sometimes he wondered if it was just him in this mundane system of work everyday, by himself and the endless photocopies of past papers. And for what, at this point? No one had told him. And no one ever would. 

His mind was elsewhere today. Absentmindedly copying down notes from his old laptop, without having much care to its neatness or logic. "All nitrates are soluble…anything with sodium is soluble…" The letters came out almost joined together and like messy calligraphy. It barely made sense in his own head now. 

“Maybe if I ignore it, it’ll go away,” Jeno randomly thought in the middle of being reprimanded, not really knowing what it was referring to: his feelings, or the scolding. At last it ended and he set off plucking the tomatoes off their plants in the backyard greenhouse. It was warm in there, but not in a good way. The air was stiff. 

“Come on, Jeno. It’s been one day, don’t give it up here.” Perhaps earlier he _was_ referring to his feelings, because now his mind was empty. He imagined this is what it would be like to be a robot; programmed to feel nothing, but at least functional. It may have been empty, but it was suffocating, like the vacuum of space, and finally it got too much and he walked swiftly out for a breath of fresh air. The sky was threatening to rain, so it wasn’t much better, but it didn’t smell of compost out there. Out of the corner of his eye, there was a small Renjun-shaped figure at a desk, torso up to his neck blocked with books and binders. Earphones in, a peaceful expression on his face. And Jeno smiled to himself. Work was a bit less tiresome after that, and he hoped it was the same for Renjun. 

It had been a couple hours now, with a quick lunch break that was (un)fortunately outside. Then it was back to work. Jeno didn't dare question whether it would be like this day in day out.

The rest of his chores went by in a blur, and most of them were so mundane that he didn’t really pay attention to anything as he worked. Was this really what his mother wanted him to learn from this? He thought, rolling his eyes occasionally when Old Ma was looking away; he didn’t want to get into further trouble. Now and again he would glance back to the window and Renjun would always appear to be doing the same thing- like a hologram. Whenever Old Ma would catch him not concentrating (which ironically was pretty much always), she would threaten to slap him but never go through with it. Maybe Renjun took after her. No, he was his own unique person, and a mystery Jeno was determined to get to the bottom of by the end of his stay. 

But anyway, back to throwing seeds. 

After a much-needed shower, there still wasn't a Renjun insight. In fact, Old Ma was also gone, and it was just Jeno and his thoughts like it had been the entire day. The sun set early here apparently, as he had just noticed, and dusk air was definitely more relaxing than what the heater provided. To his confusion, there was Renjun on a bench swing (which he hadn’t noticed before? Strange), propping his work on the rusty armrests. He looked up before Jeno even registered the fact that he hadn’t noticed the bench swing that afternoon. 

“Old Ma is out getting things for dinner and whatnot. So I’m out here, without barbeque sauce on my titties," Renjun casually said, going back to his work without a second thought. Jeno looked on, surprised- he hadn't considered Renjun making references let alone making jokes. To him. He cautiously sat across Renjun, gently swinging the bench. It let out a pained creak and Jeno stood up in shock. Renjun sighed, not even looking up or taking his pen from his page. 

"Sit on the grass then. Maybe you're too heavy for it."

"Am I that big?" Jeno protested. 

"Apparently. Yes." His pen slowed for a second, showing Renjun was paying at least a bit more attention now. Jeno lay down on the grass next to the swing, gazing up at the watercolour sky. Breeze rushed over his face and hair, naturally drying it. Just for that minute, life was bliss. 

"There's ants in the grass, you know," Renjun interrupted his relaxation. Jeno hummed in response, not really registering what the older had said. Renjun shrugged and continued writing away. “You’re gonna get so many bites but okay.” 

“Shit!” Jeno jumped up a minute later, shaking himself like a dog. Renjun didn’t even spare him a glance; 

“Told you so.”

“I thought it was another joke!” Needless to say Jeno woke up the next day with six insect bites on his calves- which Renjun found unusually amusing.

  
  


Fast forward a week, and apparently life was just as mundane as before.

Jeno didn't need an alarm anymore; he was usually awakened by Old Ma cooking breakfast in the kitchen. He didn't need to greet Renjun anymore in the morning; they had mutually accepted to get used to the other. There was a dullness to that, but if Renjun wanted it to stay that way, who was Jeno to change that? Probably some sort of idiot. Which he was;

"Tell me more about yourself," he said, spitting out his toothpaste one morning. Renjun did the same, looking at him via the mirror. 

"What is there to say." He said it more like a statement than a question, indicating that he wasn't in the mood to talk. When was he ever, Jeno thought in a huff. 

"Birthday? Likes and dislikes? Friends?" 

"23rd March. Sleeping, spiders, even though we get so many here. I have none. Is that all?" He wiped his face, did a once-over and headed out the bathroom, as if he didn't expect or want an answer. 

"Well not really-" 

"Too bad."

One day it felt like Jeno was taking a step forward then the next day it would be a step back again. And rather than getting answers, there were just more questions created. He shook his head, frustrated at himself, and roughly combed his hair. Today wasn't going to be the "it" day. But he just couldn’t shake that last answer...it was believable, and he was disappointed about that.

Ironically, even though Renjun was definitely not the easiest person to get to know, there was already a fair amount Jeno knew. But he wanted more; Renjun was intriguing. In his silence, he gave some aspects away easily- like the way he’s tirelessly at his desk with books and pencil shavings on the floor, and the way he stares into a space when he’s thinking (which was sixty percent of the time). Perhaps Jeno was a little too nosy for his own good, but Renjun didn’t seem to mind, even though he would say he did. That was something else he did: he said things as if they were truth, but they tasted suspiciously of lies. 

That morning, he had some extra free time before whatever he had to do that day (it wasn’t like he cared very much), and he ended up spending most of that time on social media and youtube. Arguably, typical Jeno, as his mum would say. Headphones on, reality off, he slowly immersed himself into the only familiar part of his life left.

Halfway through catching up with friends through instagram, there was some light scuffling. Jeno thought nothing much of it; probably just a mouse in the walls. That often happened, which he got used to in a day or two. He ignored it. 

Then the noise came again, and he took off one of his earphones in case there was more. Which there was, but this time it was more like knocking. He got up and opened his door, searching the corridor for probably Renjun, pulling another prank. But nothing and no one- just the cat looking annoyed at being disturbed by his nap in front of Jeno’s door. He apologised, closed the door and jumped back onto his bed. But the commotion was insistent, and Jeno was forced to try the cupboards and cabinets; maybe it was a trapped mouse. 

The wood was chipped and varnish damaged by now, telling the old age of them. Some were particularly dusty too. The knocking was now a little louder and almost panicky. More curious than bothered, Jeno came to the largest cupboard. It was locked. He recalled the note Old Ma had left him on his first day (now in the bin) that if he wished to use some cupboards (he didn’t, who knew how mouldy they would be), the keys would be on the bookshelf. He hadn’t taken time to go through the shelf, but the books all looked old fashioned and worn, read probably by four generations at least. The pages were brown and yellow, with holes in some. He tried all the keys for the cupboard, until one gave a soft click. The sound had stopped by this time, and Jeno opened the cupboard to check where it had been coming from, only to find a Renjun with knees tucked to his chest, clutching a newer looking book than the ones on the shelves.

He breathed in deeply and stood up, brushing off some dust from his jeans. Jeno still hadn’t said anything because to be quite honest, he wasn’t surprised. Renjun hadn’t said anything either. It was ten awkward seconds before Renjun reluctantly said,

“Thanks. I forgot the key today.”

“How can you open it from inside though?”

“I’ve done it enough to know.” Baffled, Jeno blinked to process the nocholant nature of it all: Renjun locked himself in the cupboard frequently? Enough to know how to open it from the inside? And did he do this with other cupboards? As if reading his mind, Renjun added,

“I have the keys for the other ones in my pocket, how useful.”

“Why di-Why didn’t you just say something or shout for someone to let you out?” 

“You looked relaxed on the bed but the cupboard was getting a bit small. I didn’t mean to disturb.”

“Wait- how did..?”

“There’s a hole at eye level in this one,” Renjun gestured to the door. When closed, it faced Jeno’s bed. “I would’ve twisted one of those hangers to pick myself out later, but thanks anyway.”

“May I just ask-”

“What now.” Renjun folded his arms.

“...why? Were you in there?” Jeno made random pointing gestures, and Renjun held up his book with raised eyebrows.

“I was reading?” Typical Renjun: saying statements like questions and questions like statements. 

“In a cupboard?”

“Where else? Do you have a problem with it?”

“In _my_ room?” At that Renjun’s expression hardened and his arm holding the book twitched up.

“ _Your_ room? I’ve lived in this stinkin’ house for god knows how long now and you come along one day and call this _yours?_ ” He tilted his head, closer to Jeno. “I’m only tolerating you. I’ll have you know that.”

“Look, you can use that cupboard whenever you want I’m-”

“I’d like at least control on where I can’t be disturbed, thanks. That was a good book I was in the middle of too.” He frowned down and flipped a couple of pages, trying to find where he left off. 

“What’s it about?” Jeno tentatively asked. At this point he was just trying to get back onto Renjun’s good side. Why he cared so much about that, was a question for another time. 

“Mythical creatures called selkies. Stuff about them getting caught by sailors and having to break free without revealing their human side.” He carried on explaining, and a twinkle grew in his eyes. In all fairness, the book sounded interesting enough, but the question seemed to have its desired effect. After he was done, Old Ma called Jeno from outside, signalling that it was time for him to work for the day. When would he ever get a break? 

Renjun slipped past him and opened the door, holding the door open for Jeno. That shocked him and he froze, before Renjun gave a small shake of frustration. 

“Hurry up and go away before Old Ma scolds you, why don’t you.”

“Oh. Right.” Renjun let go of the door as Jeno got to it, and swept himself away to the room at the end of the corridor, into another darkness. 

Renjun glowed hot but fast. Maybe that was what made him the brightest star around here.

That event that morning stuck around in Jeno’s mind. He went about his day, doing whatever he needed to do and was shipped back home with Old Ma via her rotten old car. It hadn’t even crossed Jeno’s mind that Old Ma could even drive. But he was in for a surprise when they arrived back; someone new. 

Someone new was waiting at the door, slightly shorter than him, maybe Renjun’s height, and had two more suitcases than Jeno, plus presumably a parent next to him. They were chatting amicably when Jeno got out of the car, and Old Ma immediately went up to the doorstep to greet them, leaving Jeno to carry the groceries himself. From overhearing whilst bringing the things to the kitchen, he learnt the someone new was named Chenle. Also here to stay for the holidays, but seemed to be more for a break rather than discipline, as Jeno’s mum seemed to make it as. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous. 

By the time Jeno had gotten everything up (by himself, which he was quite proud of), Chenle’s “parent” had driven away, and Chenle was dragging his suitcase down the corridor to the room next to Jeno’s, closer to Renjun’s than his. But one thing he did wonder as he had a quick shower- why didn’t Renjun answer the door? Surely Chenle must’ve knocked and at least Renjun was home to answer. In fact, Renjun hadn’t even revealed himself to Chenle yet, and his room door was locked. From the backyard, his window blinds were down too, despite the window being open. When he asked Old Ma, she waved a hand dismissively and told him to comb his hair, even when he just had. 

“Evening!” Chenle grinned when they met in the corridor. His voice had a softer tone than anyone else in this house, and it was comforting in a loud friendly way. “I saw you just now with lots of bags, and wanted to help but I was uh, kind of engaged then. Sorry.” 

Wow, okay, an angel. “But I’ll help next time! I’m Chenle.”

“I’m Jeno,” he extended a hand in handshake but Chenle gave him a high-five instead. 

“Nice to meet you Jeno! I need to shower now, so I’ll see you later, yeah?” 

“Yeah. Will do, it was nice meeting you too.” Jeno felt almost bad that he was too tired to answer happily like Chenle was. Mentioning Renjun crossed his mind, but Chenle had already closed the bathroom door behind him. 

But as if summoned, the door of the room at the end of the corridor clicked open at last, and Renjun peeped out. Upon seeing Jeno, eyes tired and hair combed twice over yet still damp, he gave a grunt and closed it again. Jeno rolled his eyes and was about to go back to his room, when Renjun cracked open his door again and called, 

“Hey! You!” 

“I have a name, but okay.”

“So, um,” Renjun paused and stepped a bit further out of his room so half of his body was out as opposed to just his head. “Thanks for the help for chem the other day. It helped a lot.” Jeno was taken aback, but luckily Renjun couldn’t see that from the other side of the corridor. The shower was faintly spraying in the background. 

“Uh, no problem.”

“Would you be able to help with geography?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not really. Come here!” Renjun smiled as he said that, almost like Chenle’s. At least he was in a good mood now. That made Jeno smile too. 

"So…am I allowed to step in now? Can you change the rules now?" Jeno raised his eyebrows, but more playfully than seriously. Renjun thought for a second, tilting his head, and frowned as he concluded,

"I suppose just this once. Close the door behind you."

“You know there’s a new visitor now too,” said Jeno, doing what Renjun had told him to do

“And what about them? I need help with geography.” Renjun silently rolled his eyes, but stopped the thought of it being actually executed. Maybe because otherwise he wouldn’t get that help. 

“Well, okay then smartass. Which topic?” Renjun handed him a couple pages to read through, and to be fair, he didn’t understand much either. 

“You see my problem? Do you understand it?”

“Not really. Have you tried looking online for it?”

“Do you think I’m dumb?” Renjun sighed but got up google anyway, demonstrating that he had already done so. It was kind of nauseating to look at, the amount of tabs open. 

“Yeah well…”

“Understandable.” Renjun continued scrolling through the searches, unaware at Jeno’s minor shock at the response he had no idea what to make of. “What? I have a lot of work to do today too,” he sighed. 

“Why...why are you always here studying? Doesn’t it get boring?” Jeno tentatively asked. Renjun threw a book on the desk after flicking through the contents, but then immediately picked it up again to find a page. 

“Do you think I don’t know that? I have nothing better to do to occupy myself. That’s why Old Ma gets the guest to help most of the time.” He sighed again, skim reading the pages and probably not even absorbing the information. It was useless; he was getting less and less focused by the second. He would blame that on Jeno. 

“I see. Lemme read that page,” he scooted closer to Renjun, arms touching as he leant over to read. Breathe, Renjun told himself. Jeno himself was simultaneously controlling his breathing rhythm and eyes to read the text. 

When Renjun first read the text, all the words blended into blocks of characters with no meaning, but now he calmed himself down. That would probably help. Jeno seemed to sense that, and the rhythm of his exhalations slowed down and tickled some of his arm hairs. The breaths seemed to be telling him something untranslatable into words. Without him knowing, his own breaths fell in sync with Jeno’s, naturally. The words came into focus, and suddenly things made sense. He let out sounds of exclamation as he read through the page, faster than he normally would’ve, and didn’t notice the shy smile of admiration Jeno was giving him. He was half way through the second page when the door busted open and Chenle was standing on the other side. Renjun was first to react, accustomed to having his door quite literally kicked open (Jeno was surprised it didn’t break to be honest), and his first reaction was his usual frown. Then it morphed into curiosity, then surprise and a radiant grin painted his face. 

“Zhong Chenle?!”

“Huang Renjun!!!” Chenle ran in and enveloped Renjun in a hug, remembering to give a nod in greeting to Jeno next to him. “Surprise!” 

“Ah! You’re still so loud,” Renjun mock covered his ears but his smile said otherwise. Chenle shrugged and gestured to Jeno. 

“I’ve already met Jeno but, introduce him anyway.” There was a cheeky undertone to that, and he clasped his hands behind his back as an act of innocence. Renjun sighed and thought about it for a second, and Chenle prompted him with a plethora of questions; when one registered into Jeno’s brain, he was already railing off the next one. He finally paused and looked at Renjun’s now blank face and stopped mid-question. 

“You...you don’t know any of the answers, do you?” The silence gave the answer away, and Jeno thought it was better not to interrupt. “Renjun, we talked about this last time…”

“I’m sorry I’ll, erm...leave now then,” Jeno made to get up but Chenle touched his shoulder before sitting himself down where Jeno had been. 

“I think you can sta-”

“No. Please don’t,” Renjun hung his head a little, but Jeno couldn't pin-point what for.

“Well maybe it’s time you told someone else too-” Chenle argued in a gentle almost motherly way, but Renjun cut him off, hiding his face from Jeno as much as possible. 

“Please don’t push it.” He said it half like a warning, half in pity for himself, Jeno guessed. But he backed away from the room, closing the door softly behind him and leaving Chenle and Renjun to it. He guessed they were old friends, perhaps. But then again with Renjun, who knew?


	2. Chapter 2

So it turned out that Jeno was correct. And he hated that he was correct, because now he had truly no one. Renjun hadn’t been much, but in that, he had been everything. 

Every morning would now start with Chenle and Renjun having silent conversation at the sink, Jeno exiting very soon after neglecting washing his face for the third day in a row. Then they would continue to talk (annoy?) each other over breakfast, kind of treating Jeno like he was invisible. Now and again Chenle would glance at him to try and get him to join (he was an angel like that), but it never really worked out because Renjun hadn’t even looked at him for at least a day now. And he wanted to keep it like that.

Chenle didn’t have to work like Jeno did apparently. Now when he looked into the window, they would normally be seen laughing about something, or pouring over more books. And whenever he saw them together, Jeno wouldn’t be lying if he said he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of a kind. He started counting down the days till he left this ratchet place, again; it seemed even longer than it had been before for some reason.

He had gotten used to the moth balls by his bed’s backboard, the way the water pressure in the shower took forever to get up, he had even phased out the daily scent of baked goods. Just when his world was starting to take on colour, it was now as barren as when he came. 

Not that he was jealous of Chenle; he was an actual angel. Got Renjun off of his back, was a cheery presence at the dinner table, and quite honestly a joy to be around. And Jeno couldn’t help but have a pang of guiltiness at this. As much as he appreciated the sentiment of Chenle trying to include him, Renjun always ignored it. That hurt, every time. And every time, Chenle would shoot him an apologetic smile, whilst Renjun gave him nothing. A cold, blank face, at the very most, but at least a sight for sore eyes. Before Chenle had come, to be honest Renjun was getting used to having Jeno around, despite the fact that it had taken suspiciously quicker than it would most times when someone was staying over. He was never in deep, though, and he never even considered how far he was pushing Jeno away now. 

Later that evening, Old Ma had suggested playing some old dusty card games she had found whilst cleaning out the closets (for about the third time since Jeno came), and lay a pack on the table. 

“Ooohh I haven’t played Uno in ages!” Chenle exclaimed brightly.

“I supposed a couple rounds won’t hurt. I’ll shuffle,” Jeno offered. Renjun had seemed to switch off now that it was “socialising time” and he shrugged and went with whatever the other two said. Old Ma left them to it and went off down the corridor (and wasn’t seen for the rest of the night). Chenle didn’t even bat an eye at her or Renjun. Half way through the first round, Jeno asked Chenle, placing down a two,

“How many times have you come here?”

“Oh about three now? I don’t come very much, but I miss Renjun sometimes, you see,” he said matter-of-factly. He put down his card and gestured to a sullen Renjun to play next. 

“Sweet. Are you two childhood friends or…” Jeno trailed off, and he was forced to draw cards. 

“We’re cousins, actually,” Renjun jumped in before Chenle could reply this time. Jeno stared at him in shock, as Chenle gazed at him expectantly. Was he ever bothered by anything?

“That’s great then.”

“Yeah, it’s a long journey for me but it’s chill out here,” Chenle vaguely gestured outside. “Sometimes literally. But it’s a good break from school.” Jeno was tempted to ask Renjun about the non-existent school he seemed to go to but decided otherwise. He had learnt a lesson by now, and it was to never question Huang Renjun. 

“Cool, do you learn the same things as Renjun? I’ve seen some of hi-”

“Plus four hah!” Renjun jumped in, excitedly grinning. “Chenle draw four.” Good timing, Renjun thought to himself. There were multiple other cards he could’ve played, but he had kept this one for emergencies like that. Chenle pouted but obediently drew his cards. 

“Why don’t I ever get those nice cards…” he whined, and Jeno had to giggle. Renjun found himself unconsciously smiling too, but for a different reason.

“It’s all luck, my friend,” Jeno grinned, placing down his own plus four that made Renjun draw. 

“Bu- No- What?” As fast as Renjun had switched on, he threw his hand of cards on the table and flounced out. Jeno got up to go after him, but Chenle grabbed him by the arm with a reassuring smile. 

“He’ll come back round soon enough. Make it sound fun and he’ll be back sooner- I know you’ll want that,” he drew Renjun’s plus four cards and added it to his pile instead. “Your turn.”

“Uno’s boring with two people though.”

“Then make it not boring. Easy.” Jeno stuttered out a reply, quickly placing down that one blue skip he had been holding onto this entire game and never got a chance to use. 

“I- It’s really not.”

“Yeah it is. Think it’s not boring and then it won’t be. I tell Renjun all the time, but he doesn’t really listen. He insists that the boringness is fact, what a wet blanket.”

“I can hear you!” A faint call came from the corridor, causing Jeno to flinch a bit, but Chenle simply laughed. Jeno took his advice and did too; by the time the game finished, he was starting to believe Chenle’s words. 

Renjun in the meantime had retreated to one of the corridor cupboards he loved so much: just the right size and scent, plus they had a dim light inside. This one even had some old christmas lights he plugged in a couple months ago. Some of the glass (or was it plastic?) from the lights had cracked, but the wire was in good shape and they flickered on, with a comforting aura like that of fireflies. He came here whenever he was having one of  _ those _ episodes; when something little somehow triggered something in his brain to just completely quit. And he was quite well aware of this now, he had experienced the numbness that came with it, but knew that the guilt would hit sooner or later. In today’s case, it was unusually sudden. And the guilt wasn’t even targeted at a collective as it usually was (most of the time his parents or one time it was Old Ma and her Old Friends), it was just targeted at one person: Jeno. Not even Chenle, because Renjun had guessed at this rate that his “cousin” was used to this by now. He had gone with that lie they had kept since childhood, despite the fact that it landed them in trouble most of the time. They were good times…back then. Renjun didn’t even recognise the him from then; how could he have been so reckless? Him? Of all people? 

This was always what these episodes came to. Without fail, this is usually where they spiralled to. Each time, it was getting harder to stop, but there was a part of Renjun that didn’t really mind. Or care. Or feel. 

A knock shocked him from his tucked position and Renjun muffled an “ouch” as his head hit the back of the cupboard. 

“Renjun? It’s me.” Chenle. “Jeno felt bad for you, just saying. Do you wanna come back or sleep? We can continue the game tomorrow.” There was silence from inside, and Chenle held his breath for a frightening moment and considered busting the lock open. It wasn’t locked, as Renjun easily opened it up and brushed the dust off his paint stained pants. 

“Sure. We can continue.” From Jeno’s perspective, this was all just a mess of mumbles in the darkness of the hallway, but he had dealt out the cards for the next round anyway. After it had been ten minutes, Jeno had kept pestering Chenle to go see Renjun, against his will, but he gave in. 

“It’s up to you, you know-”

“It’s fine. I’ll go apologise too.”

“Oh- Okay. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

As soon as the pair were seated at the dining table again, Renjun had blurted out a quick “sorry about that” and grabbed a set of cards Jeno had dealt out. He didn’t question it, just simply placed his first card on the deck. There were no hiccups the rest of the evening and soon enough, Renjun came to enjoy the game just as he should have been.

That night wasn’t spoken of again. 

Days passed since that evening, slow as ever, except everyone in House Six started to realise how much Renjun seemed to be coughing and sneezing. He was just as...chirpy, as normal, just that now when he tried to snap at Jeno, his voice would stop half way through and go hoarse. Which to be honest, was quite amusing if you weren’t Renjun. On the third day in a row the cough persisted, Old Ma decided to take him to the doctor; it hadn’t even crossed Jeno’s mind that there was even a doctor in this village. 

“Oh yes, nice lady, the doctors. I got sick here once and had to go see her- she has sweets!” Chenle claimed whilst comforting a pouty (cute) Renjun and talking to Jeno. “I doubt he has anything serious, but it’s hay fever season so…”

“I see.”

“I don’t think I need to go. I’ll be fine tomorrow,” Renjun whined. 

“You said that yesterday…”

“Jeno! Come help me with these bags!” Old Ma called from the kitchen. Jeno got up right away and Renjun started talking, 

“It’s not like this is gonna be a day trip or something, how come she’s got  _ bags _ ?”

“You know how she is, even better than I do.”

These bags were surprisingly heavy, but Jeno didn’t dare peep inside them even out of his curiosity. Chenle had miraculously gotten Renjun to actually leave his room and come out to the driveway, in a light hoodie and shorts: what he had fallen asleep in last night. 

“Will I have to come too?” Jeno asked Old Ma, loading up the things in the boot. 

“If you want to.”

“Does he  _ have _ to, Old Ma?” Renjun stepped forward and Chenle shot him a judging look, almost saying “Don’t be so rude in front of Jeno. Did we not talk about this?” Jeno glanced back at Renjun at the doorstop, defiant as ever and said, 

“If Renjun doesn’t want me to, then I won’t. I’ll stay with Chenle.” Renjun gave a nod of approval, not sparing a smile, and was pushed forward by Chenle to get in the car. 

“You can have a day off Jeno. I-We’ll be out till maybe five o’clock okay?”

“Okay auntie! See you!” Chenle ushered Jeno into the house and waved on behalf of them both. 

“Aunt-Auntie?” He was incredulous. The younger walked confidently to the kitchen and sat down to finish his later breakfast, offering Jeno a biscuit from the open tin. 

“Well, yeah. Why? Did you not know?”

“Renjun never told me.”

“Figures.” Chenle munched away as his pancake and Jeno sat across him in silence, in thought. 

At last he spoke up again. 

“Can you tell me more about Renjun? I’ve been here for like three weeks or something and barely know much, other than he had a tendency to mood swings.” Chenle laughed at that, taking a sip of orange juice after before answering, 

“I’m sure he wouldn’t approve of me telling you anything about his past. Wait for him to tell you, if you can ever make him. The only reason I know about it is because I lived through it with him. He was a bit more...let’s say, badly hit than me, so he was sent here.”

“...Renjun’s intriguing.”

“How so?” Chenle said. Jeno paused to think for a bit. Then he started, 

“It’s like, I’m only getting these puzzle pieces but they don’t match up. And the sides are too blurry, so I can’t even see if they’re in the correct place. I don’t know anything about him, but he makes me want to, and that doesn’t happen much. I find myself like, watching his every move and trying to get something from it, but usually there’s nothing, which is what makes the whole thing so....how to say- fun? Maybe? No, that’s not a good word. I don’t know…”

“I don’t think you’ve been watching close enough. Renjun needs that kind of attention, you know,” Chenle added, mischievous eyes shining. Jeno groaned in frustration. 

“See? All these clues I’m given but they don’t match up!” Chenle giggled and clattered down his fork, taking a biscuit for himself. 

“Renjun talks to me quite a lot.”

“I can see that-”

“Sometimes about you, as of recently.”

“He- what?” Chenle nodded. 

“He doesn’t usually talk about the guests in House Six. Maybe take that as a clue for something too.” He popped the rest of the biscuit and wiped his mouth, going to the sink to wash the plates Old Ma hadn’t had time to do before leaving.

“What...what does he say about me?” Jeno said, still seated but head resting his arm on the table. 

“That, I could never tell you, or else I’d break his trust, and I’m sure that wouldn’t help anything. But…” He turned around, wiggling his eyebrows teasingly. 

“What?!” 

“What if I told you that I’ve never heard Renjun say these things about anyone else?”

“Wh-That doesn’t help!”

“Oh, Jeno,” Chenle rinsed the last dish and grabbed one last biscuit from the tin (they were gingerbread, who could blame him), “It helps more than your small brain knows.” He hummed down the hallway to his room and shut the door behind him, calling,

“If you need me, I’ll be in here! Or let me know if you get bored!”

Jeno laughed to himself and mumbled, walking to his own room to take a morning nap.

“Small brain, ha! There’s some truth in that.”

  
  


Okay, so Jeno was a bit more tired than he had anticipated. It wasn't his fault his sheets happened to be so inviting; in no time, he was dreaming. 

There was snow for once. Wow, Jeno hadn’t experienced snow since he was a kid. Scent of gingerbread wafted to his bedroom, even through the closed door. He was sleeping- in his dream- but not dreaming: that weird black void state. There was a knock on the door, and dream-Jeno fluttered awake, none of that crusty stuff around his eyes and it was as if he was only ever paused, never was asleep. Someone gently shook him awake, then shoved a cookie into his mouth, and a familiar voice came, 

“Is it good? Does it need more sugar?”

“Wait...yeah, it’s great…” Jeno sleepily chewed it. The voice let out a frustrated grunt.

“So more sugar or nah?”

“Mmmmmno you’re sweet enough…” he felt a light slap on the back of his neck and groggily smiled at the voice and allowed his cheeks to be squished and kissed gently. 

“So more sugar it is. Or maybe more cinnamon…” The voice faded into the room and Jeno was alone again, sitting on the bed and surroundings strangely familiar. Yes, this was his house, except it wasn’t. Scratching his head, he flicked his wrist, making sure he was still there. Yes, just the same old flesh. He walked up to the mirror and studied himself. Same old, same old. Wait no; he reached up to his jaw down to his neck, and stroked light red marks that speckled them. He shivered to his own touch and tore himself away from the mirror, getting changed into clothes that suspiciously didn’t smell like his at all. But he took in the sweet scent, and his heart went a tad bit giddy, despite it being ever so...familiar. He padded down the stairs, still yawning and rubbing his eyes. The voice was measuring flour and didn’t even notice he had come down, until Jeno sneezed from sniffing the cinnamon powder lying on the side of the counter. The voice looked up and-

“Jeno! What happened?” It was Chenle, and Jeno was awake again. How long had he been sleeping? He sat up suddenly, blacking out a bit as he did, and held onto the blanket for stability. The sun shone brightly through the window; it was midday already. 

“What? What did I do?” Chenle gasped a sigh of relief. 

“A shout and then kicking on the bed. Without context it was uh…”

“Oh. I was dreaming, I think?”

“Damn what were you even dreaming about then?” Jeno scratched his head, and lightly flicked his wrist to wake himself up properly. 

“I…I don’t remember. Something about gingerbread…” Chenle burst out laughing at that. 

“All that about _ gingerbread _ ?” He continued laughing whilst Jeno was trying to collect his thoughts. Even just seconds after waking up, all memory of the dream was pretty much gone. 

“Yeah, I think so.” Jeno laughed along with Chenle and got out of bed. “What’s for lunch then?”

It was more or less mid afternoon when Renjun and Old Ma returned, smiles from the latter and...the usual, from the former. Renjun tossed aside a pack of pills, and put the liquid medicine in a cabinet, and murmured under his breath,

“As if I’ll drink  _ that  _ vile stuff.” Chenle rolled his eyes and chuckled, picking them up once Renjun had left and followed, taunting him. Jeno just sat down, content, and picked out a biscuit from the jar, then went to help Old Ma with her many bags from the car. It seemed she would come back with more bags than when she started with, every time. Coming back in the second time (only half the bags inside now between the two of them), he heard twinkly laughter coming from Renjun's room, the door not closed for once. Though he felt the pang of emotion he usually would when this happened, this time Jeno was able to identify it: a twinge of loneliness, mixed with a touch of jealousy. He knew there was no need for such jealousy, but his mind just went with it anyway. Why should he be jealous? Chenle was a good friend of Renjun, and an angel at that. By the third round of bags, they seemed to weigh Jeno down a lot more than they should’ve. 

That night was rather sleepless for Jeno. At around midnight, he got bored staring up at the ceiling, counting the tiny cracks in the plaster, and padded to the bathroom (god, he looked a mess), and then the backyard, never mind the various biting insects. The moon was a pretty crescent tonight, and some stars peeked out between clouds. A small sliver of silver from behind a tree; Jupiter. The greenhouse seemed to be haunted, all black with no sunlight. The bench swing was gone this time, probably in the shed again. The cool night air washed over Jeno, and he pondered on how long he was away from home. How long it had been. There was a small porch outside the backdoor, before there was grass, and Jeno picked up a garden chair, being careful to not make too much noise. He sat himself down, at last at least feeling a doze catching up to him. It was a quiet night, too, not even crickets filled up the silence. It was almost as if the sky was asking to be shouted at tonight. 

Renjun himself was dozing off by this time too. The doctor’s run hadn’t been too serious, and he was still insistent on not taking the medicine, no matter how much Chenle annoyed him with them. Eventually he swallowed a pill, reluctantly, and didn’t look at the bottles or pack for the rest of the night. Though admittedly, he was getting to sleep with less coughing. Not like anyone would notice at this point; it’s not like anyone ever did. 

His eyes were shut, and his breaths were relaxed, but yet his mind was racing at its usual pace, not slowing down one bit to process itself. It was times like this, that Renjun often thought about the past, and it was a bad habit, he knew this, yet he still continued to do it. It’s like his past was all he would ever be. He heaved a sigh, forced his eyes open, and sat up in bed, which seemed to take all his energy to do. He stared around his room, aimlessly, looking for something else to think about. The window! It was rather stuffy tonight anyway. 

So Renjun walked over to the window, opening it and scanned the skies for anything familiar tonight. The lopsided smiley face, the lucky three, the “w” shape...Renjun never bothered to memorise constellation names. What was the point? Whatever name they had, they were still the same shapes. Just as he was going to lie awake in bed for another three hours, his ears caught a low hum. Strange. He stopped in his tracks and turned back to the window, sticking his head out and looking around. A familiar figure was sitting in the rickety garden chair (which hadn’t been used in months) against the porch wall. 

“Lee Jeno!” Renjun whisper-shouted across to him. “Jeno!” He said a bit louder. A drowsy Jeno sat up a little taller, looking around to see who called him. Finally his eyes glanced over Renjun at his window, and his face twisted into a mixture of confusion and relief. “What are you doing, do you know what the time is?” Renjun said, once Jeno had walked a little bit over to hear him better. He shrugged, and went back to pull his chair over. 

“It was a nice night, and I got bored staring at the ceiling. What about you?” He was seated underneath Renjun’s window now, still facing the garden. 

“I- not much. Just wanted to open the window to let some fresh air in. But I’ll be closing it now-”

“And here I was thinking we could have a decent conversation for once. Without interruption.”

“What do you mean by that? If this is about the other night, I said sorry-”

“No no,” Jeno interrupted. “It’s just that,” he leant back against the wall. “I’ve been here for like three weeks now, and I still don’t know you.”

“Psh, me? Full offence, why would you wanna know about  _ me? _ Especially when Chenle’s here, he’s much more interesting.” Renjun’s words came out in a stumble, quicker than they probably should’ve. 

“You’re lying.”

“How dare!” 

“You’re lying!” Jeno’s tone was a bit more playful now, and he grinned up at Renjun hoping to lighten the mood. Renjun made some defensive noises, but eventually propped himself up in his hands on the window sill, to the left of Jeno. 

“Maybe I am. Maybe this was all a lie and nothing I’ve done is real. Maybe you aren’t real and you aren’t hearing my not-reals.” Jeno chuckled softly at that. 

“Perhaps so." A pause."Renjun?”

“Hm?”

“Sometimes I get the feeling that Chenle is the only one you trust in life. Is that true?” There was silence for a minute, and Jeno let it be. Gentle breathing was more comforting than before. And he could- would- wait for Renjun. 

“I’ve never thought about that, but you could say that, yes."

“Why is that? I know you two grew up together ‘n all but surely you had other people too?” Without saying a word, again, the silence was more tense than the previous comforting. Jeno could hear Renjun’s physical breathing getting slightly quicker. 

“Please don’t remind me of them,” he whispered, breathless. At that, Jeno quietly placed his hand on Renjun's which was now on the sill. He gazed up at him and tried out his best puppy eyes face. At least Renjun had a giggle at that; what a sweet sound. 

"It helps to open up sometimes. I'd be happy to listen."

"What if it turns out I can't trust you?" Renjun hadn't moved his hand from underneath Jeno's as he had expected. 

"Who do I have to tell anyway?" Renjun thought for a second, whilst Jeno continued, "I'm sure my friends won't care too much anyway, and why would I tell them? And either way, I'm a stranger." Renjun was silent in thought and then eventually said, 

"I shouldn't be telling you this."

"Why?" On any other basis, Renjun would've flounced off and Jeno wouldn've just dropped the matter altogether but tonight? 

"I…I don't know." Jeno turned around in the chair so he was facing up at Renjun, who smiled a lopsided smile, avoiding eye contact. 

“Go ahead, then.” And that was the moment when Jeno was no longer a stranger. 

“I don’t know where to start. I mean...yeah. I was homeschooled, always have been, so I never got friends per say. Chenle started off just as a family friend, but I had no one else so...I went from there. Long story short, when I hit the beginning of my teenage years, I started to feel restricted. Choked up in that damn mansion-”

“Mansion?!” Jeno interrupted, incredulously, before clamping a hand over his mouth and motioning for Renjun to go on. Instead of stopping as he would’ve expected, Renjun rolled his eyes and carried on:

“Yeah, a mansion. Our family- families- were well off. A bit too comfortably, but whatever. I rarely saw my parents to be honest, and since moving here they’ve only visited twice; both in my first year here. So then I ended up sneaking out the house. Not this one, the mansion one. Occasionally, just to see the city and experience it like a teenager, you know? At first it was a way I would treat myself after a particularly hard week, but then I started doing it more and more, until it became more of a habit. Chenle knew of this of course, and despite his warnings I still did it. Yeah, there was some security, but I discovered a backgate and a small slip road that led to the main road to town. Sometimes I would take my own pocket money, but I got mugged multiple times. It was no big deal though ‘cause as I said, we were a bit too well off. Rich, you could say.” 

This was the longest Jeno had ever heard Renjun talk, calmly, to him. 

“Then a couple months into this guilty pleasure habit, I always passed this group of boys, maybe a bit older than me, at the slip road. They would ask me the same thing every night without fail: where you going, boy? I would always answer “town”. Then they would nod and we would go our separate ways. I knew they were fishy from the start, but I never anticipated how bad they could be. 

There was a time when they asked me if I was from that castle over there, pointing to my house, and I would say yes. They only ever asked one question at a time, and I never thought much about it, well, let’s just say because I was never taught what information was safe to give. No one ever assumed I would be heading out by myself anytime soon, so they never bothered telling me. But to be honest, it felt good- other people asking about me. Very very slowly, maybe it took a year or so, I started becoming friends with them, and asked them questions too. To this day, I still don’t know if their answers were all just lies. But to me, who didn’t know better, they seemed trustworthy enough.”

Renjun paused here to take a breath and register what he just said out loud. Thinking out loud was different than thinking in his head, all lonely. Out here, there was Jeno. Doe eyed, warm hands, soft presence; Jeno. And so he continued:

“It never crossed my mind that what they wanted was money. No matter how much wretched maths I was taught, I never added it up. Money was such a small part of my life that honestly,  _ I _ didn’t care if they wanted to take it away from me. Long story short, I got a bit too close to them, started being influenced by them, and let them sneak back into my house with me. And they got caught by the guards, breaking into my father’s safe in the basement. Naturally, I got blamed when questioned by the police and who was I to say otherwise? All the evidence was against me. All because no one told me anything, and in the following months I grew to resent that house and everyone who lived in it. I even shut myself away from Chenle, _ for a week _ . After a month, he was still the only person, other than my tutor, that I allowed in my room. Of course I told him my side, and he was mad for a bit...but he came back and forgave me. He’s Chenle what else do you expect him to do, right? I’m so grateful I had him...but anyway, yeah. That’s 80% of the “story”. M-Maybe I’ll tell you the rest another time.” 

It was a bit hard to tell in dim light, but there were traces of guilt spelt on Renjun’s face. Guilt, mixed in with frustration and a touch of melancholy. And Jeno felt for that. 

He stood up and gave Renjun a hug from outside, the window sill separating them too much for their likings. It was a type of hug Renjun hadn’t gotten before. After Chenle moved on from it, his hug was more of a firm, I’m-here-for-you hug. This? This was the type of hug that said...well it said to Renjun “I love you”. Words that only Chenle ever said to him. 

Renjun hugged back, burying his face in Jeno’s shoulder. Then he cried. 

“Tha-thank you-u,” Renjun stuttered out between sobs. “Thank you for caring. You don’t know how much I needed this.” Jeno simply stroked his head, holding the shaking body. It may have been the dead of night, but warm colours filled his vision.

“And you don’t know how much I don’t want to leave here now.”

“Sh!” Renjun looked up, still holding onto Jeno. Their eye levels were now the same, as they stared right at each other, hearts beating in time like crackles of a fire. “I-I mean…”

“Hm?” Jeno tilted his head.

“It- It’s just tha-that...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, sorry for how I’ve treated you all this...this time. You must’ve been thinking what a crazy person,” Renjun took a hurried breath, “...I am and to be honest I wouldn’t be surprised if you still think I am. I’ve just been so insec-”

“It’s okay. I get it.”

“No no you don’t understand! I’ve let you suffer in the dark for all this time and-”

“No, really, Renjun. It’s okay and I understand  _ completely _ .” That was enough for Renjun to break down again, but quieter and holding onto Jeno’s shoulder even tighter. As if he never wanted to let go, almost. What did I do to deserve being here, Renjun thought. 

“I don’t.”

“Mhm?”

“It-It’s nothing.” 

Dawn came, and their voices became mere croaks, especially Renjun’s, who assured Jeno he would take the medicine after sneezing five times in a row. They diverged to talking about everything under the moon, and everytime they felt there was nothing else to say, there would be something that sparked and then followed another twenty minute discussion. It was special; that night was special. 

Jeno learned about that one time Renjun he lost himself in his own house and had to be found by the maid in the basement storage, in and amongst the clothing section (of which he recalled smelled “like centuries” whatever that meant). He learnt of the adventures Renjun and Chenle would have in their free time, which would be abruptly cut off by his tutor insisting he do just one more past paper before the scheduled national testing. And how they would chase each other up and down the grand staircase during receptions when they were younger, and how they later settled for hiding under the standing tables and scaring people. They were so adorable, that no one ever told their parents. 

“Guess you two carried that trait for life, huh?” he teased, and Renjun slapped him on the shoulder.

“Chenle got most of the share after childhood, as you can see.”

Renjun learned about that one time Jeno tried to run away from home, but only got as far as the playground at the next block. He got an hour worth of scolding after that, but stopped paying attention to it after the words “you can trust me”. He learnt of the times Jeno would finish a piano lesson with his mother crying and on the brink of tearing up the sheets, dynamics blurred all into forte through the tears. And hence that time he actually _ did _ tear up a sheet. 

“What about your friends back home? How did you meet them?” Renjun asked, and so another rant came. Which he was quite content to listen to; Jeno may have been more fascinating than he thought initially. He gave another yawn but nodded along to whatever Jeno was saying- something about how his friends were stupid and got caught playing video games in class. 

“I would’ve joined them but...I was caught a few weeks before so…” Jeno waited for the little giggle to come, but there was just a yawn and a tired smile. “Am I boring you?”

“No, not at all just,” another yawn, “tired. I came out here for fresh air, not to pour my heart out and-” he stopped himself with a fake cough before his brain could continue that train of thought. “-and yeah.” Jeno pouted but stood up and hugged him again. 

“We should do this again, before I leave here.” Oh yeah, before he leaves, Renjun thought. 

“Of co-course. Good night, or morning, whatever.”

“I’ll head in too. Sleep well Renjun!” 

“You too.” And in a swipe of the curtain, Jeno was gone. 

“I wasn’t going to tell him I didn’t go out there to fall in love. No, what a silly thought,” Renjun told himself, letting his body collapse onto his bed. Renjun dreamt of those silly thoughts until mid-morning. 


	3. Chapter 3

“Rise and shine!” Chenle burst open Jeno’s door the next(?) morning. 

“What do you want…?” Jeno flipped over onto his other side, not facing the door. 

“You were usually up by this time so...wake up!” Jeno could already hear the beam in his voice, but just this once ignored it. 

“Hmmmmmmm…” he mumbled and snuggled further into the blanket. Chenle jumped onto the bed, shaking him. 

“Jeno!” He whined, bouncing up and down. The only reason Jeno sat up was to make sure the bed frame wouldn’t give way. He peeped open his eyes to sunlight and Chenle’s glowing face. Then promptly flopped back down onto his pillow. 

“Jeno wake up!!” Chenle shouted louder this time.

“Nnno!” He covered his face with the blanket. At that moment, another familiar face padded into the room, at first just looking to find the commotion and then jumping onto the bed on top of both of them. 

“Wake up kitty cat! The laundry isn’t going to hang itself!” Renjun said in a sing-song voice. 

“Firstly...get off my beeeeed…” he complained. He opened his eyes to two innocent faces sitting at the end of the bed. “ _Fully off._ ” They got off, still with innocent expressions. They may not have been biologically related, but they certainly looked like brothers. “Secondly...get back on because I want cuddles.”

“Say no more!” Chenle said gleefully, almost making Jeno regret what he said...but only almost. Renjun was a little more hesitant. He more carefully sat beside where the pair were hugging (Jeno at this point struggling to get out of Chenle’s grip). Reaching out, he simply placed his hand on Jeno’s fluffy, uncombed mess of a head. Chenle loosened a bit then and flicked his glance between the other two, inquiringly. 

“Now this is something…” he said, receiving a swift glare from Renjun, who softened when he turned back to Jeno, sweetly smiled and wrapped him in his arms. To Jeno, it kind of felt like a bed sandwich; the bed and his arms equally warm. 

“Mmmm...now get up and do the laundry, loser,” Renjun said. 

“Why don’t you do it for a change?” Jeno provoked, not wanting to let go of Renjun and clinged onto his arm. 

“And be forced to touch Old Ma’s underwear and bra? No way. And brush your teeth while you’re at it, will you?” Compared to before, there honestly wasn’t much change in Renjun’s tone as he would’ve said this. But that didn’t stop Jeno from smiling, endeared, who continued to tease Renjun by breathing right in his face. Chenle had sneakily left the room in the meantime, and was now happily munching more cookies from the kitchen before coming back to offer the extras to the pair. They were now talking- or arguing affectionately- about who had it worse for the day.

“How ‘bout you two lovebirds get out of bed and start your day, or I’ll eat the cookies I got you.” Renjun leapt out of bed at that, snatching one from Chenle, and starting, 

“Speaking of lovebirds, how’s it going with-”

“I thought we were going to avoid this!!” They disappeared into the hallway, chattering about Chenle’s mystery someone. Jeno contentedly sighed, savoured the last moments in the warm bed and swung himself out. He looked into the bathroom mirror as he usually does in the morning, but even he could tell there was something different. Very subtly different. Perhaps it was the way his face seemed to shine radiant even without a smile. Yes, that sort of thing looked good on him. The “I think I’m falling in love” look. 

After a breakfast of the usual toast and butter (and complementary cookie), the pile of washing on top of the machine stared back at Jeno, as if pleading to be hung out. Or scoffing at the crumbs around his mouth, maybe both. So after a quick washing of his dishes, he set to work hanging them out on the porch, where he had been sitting, what felt like a week ago for some reason. It really only was last night, or this morning rather. It had all gone in a blur, time dilated so it felt like an hour when it was nearer to four or five. In the middle of his train of thought, Chenle popped his head around the porch door. 

“Need some help?”

“Not really but sure.” Chenle hummed as he worked through a separate pile, occasionally grunting at the tangled clothes. 

“You look tired,” he suddenly said. Jeno was taken aback at that, his eyes flying wide open from his usual resting face. 

“Why do you say that?”

“On a normal day you would be chattering away or asking me stuff. So naturally you must be tired.”

“Everyone gets tired on some days.”

“Yeah but you went to bed early last night, if I remember correctly.”

“Hm. Yeah.” Jeno tried to leave it at that, continuing the work but now that Chenle had mentioned it, he had to constantly stop himself from yawning.

“Spent all night thinking?”

“Wh-what?”

“What about, may I ask?” Typical Chenle.

“Well…” Jeno started, not wanting to full on lie. “More speaking than thinking, but you could say that.” 

“I see. With yourself? ‘Cause that’s a bit sad,” he scrunched his nose. 

“Not really…”

“Ah, with Renjun then.”

“What?” Jeno should’ve seen this coming, but nonetheless he was slightly startled at Chenle’s conclusion, even though it was the truth. 

“I mean who else are you gonna talk with? I was sleeping, and Old Ma went to bed even earlier than you. And believe me, I know Renjun stays up all night thinking about god knows what.”

“...oh.”

“It was about time Renjun told someone else the full story anyway.”

“Oh no, he didn’t tell me everything persay…”

“Let him take his time. I expect he’ll tell you before you leave. If not sooner,” Chenle said nonchalantly, hanging the last of the clothes pile on the rack. “Maybe more than that too.”

“110% of a story?” Jeno joked, but strangely, Chenle didn’t do so much as crack a smile. “What do you mean?” Chenle placed a hand on Jeno’s shoulder,

“Didn’t I tell you the other day? Watch closely.”

“I already do!” he called, but Chenle had disappeared inside. “Watch closely…?” He chuckled to himself and shook his head, slipping out of his shoes to head inside for more chores. “I’ve been doing that since I got here.”

“Really, you’d think that Old Ma would’ve gotten an actual machine dishwasher at this point,” Renjun strolled into the kitchen, but immediately neutralised when he saw Old Ma next to Jeno, beating some sort of batter. 

“And where do you think I might get one of these “machine dishwashers” you speak of, hm?” Old Ma retaliated. Jeno tried to hold in a giggle, as he saw Old Ma was actually serious. Renjun took a glance at him, winked, and replied casually,

“Online.” Old Ma made a disapproving noise. 

“Renjun, Renjun. Don’t you know you shouldn’t trust those types of purchases? And you know how much I don’t like other people coming into the house, especially to do some sort of fixing. Pooh! I can easily do it myself with the tools in the shed.” Visions of the bedroom ceiling and walls flashed passed Jeno, and he stopped scrubbing, blinked for dramatic effect, and continued. She got back to the batter, and Renjun teasingly rolled his eyes behind her. 

“‘Mkay then. Whatever you say.” Jeno was still at the sink, drowning his chuckling with the water flowing. Renjun rested his elbow on his shoulder,

“Guess what?”

“Hm?” Jeno hummed, trying to cover up the fact that his face was reddening. 

“I need help with chemistry.”

“Again?” 

“Uh huh. Be a dear and quit washing the dishes for a bit,” he said the last part in Jeno’s ear. The probably-clean-enough plate continued to be scrubbed. “Please?" Jeno sighed. 

"Is it fine if I do these later?" He said. Old Ma glanced between him and Renjun, and back to him, before slowly nodding. 

"As long as it gets done before lunch, I guess."

"Thank yo-" But Renjun was already literally dragging him out the kitchen. 

"Is it the same topic as last time or…?"

"I know, I'm useless." They were now both sitting on Renjun's bedroom floor. Renjun hadn't even mentioned his rule of not letting Jeno in. 

"Debatable."

"It's true and you know it."

"...so what page?" Jeno said.

“You know what? Flip to a random one and let’s do that. Chances are that I don’t know it anyway, and I got a test coming up with an online teacher in a week.”

“Online teacher? Ah yeah-”

“Yeah, after I moved here my old tutor naturally got uh...dismissed soon after, unfortunately. I still kinda regret that,” Renjun sighed, and closed his eyes, flipping to a random page titled “Energetics”. 

“Oh god no,” Renjun said under his breath, and Jeno’s shoulders shook with silent laughter. 

“You said! We have to do whatever comes up!” He teased, but really it also wasn’t good for him because well...this was his worst topic, and he hadn’t anticipated studying any amount of chemistry this holiday. Or studying at all, for that matter. 

“How about we don’t…” Renjun tried to close the book again, but Jeno held it open firmly. 

“In exothermic reactions…” he started reading, and eventually Renjun stopped and reluctantly followed along. After one page, he shook Jeno and said,

“This is boring. Can’t we do something else?”

“You were the one who asked me to come help,” Jeno irritably said, and immediately regretted it. Renjun paused and sighed. Then mumbled,

“I’ll do something else myself then. You can finish washing the dishes.” 

“No I’m happy to help it’s just-”

“I’ve changed my mind then!” Once Renjun had made up his mind this time, there was no going back apparently. 

“Well okay then...don’t call me back for the rest of the day unless it’s for chemistry.”

“Fine!”

“Fine!” Jeno stopped himself from slamming the door shut, and stopped outside Renjun’s door for a second, sighed and shook his head. Silently, he went back to the kitchen to finish his chores. 

“Oh good, you’re back. Lunch is in fifteen minutes, so hurry up,” Old Ma said.

“Sure thing,” Jeno murmured. 

Half way through a so far tense lunch, Old Ma stood up having finished to announce she would be gone for the afternoon (to do who knows what). She was gone within the next five minutes. As soon as the door closed, Chenle said between mouthfuls, 

“She probably wanted to escape us.”

“Probably,” Renjun said. He still hadn’t spoke to Jeno since the incident in the morning. To Jeno, despite only getting to know Renjun last night, this was out of place. He stayed silent and dug around his food, not really hungry anymore. 

“So…” Chenle said.

“So?” said Renjun, carrying on eating.

“You okay or…?” 

“Yeah,” Renjun immediately replied. “Fine.” 

“Jeno…?” 

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine. What?”

“Nothing, just checkin’ up.” 

“Thanks.” Some more silence. Jeno’s plate was still only half empty. Chenle opened his mouth to say something else, but thought otherwise. “Maybe it just needs time. Like everything to do with Renjun,” he thought.

Renjun was the first to finish, and clattered his things into the sink without much care. Jeno was surprised the plate didn’t shatter. He stared back down at his own food on it; no matter how good it smelt and how tasty it actually was, it was looking less and less appetizing by the minute. Renjun stalked out, and there was a shut of his door at the end of the corridor. Chenle, who was sitting closest to the door, thought he heard a shy lock click. He sighed. 

“Do you wanna eat the rest of this?” Chenle said suddenly, breaking the silence. 

“I mean...sure. If you don’t want it.” Jeno helped himself. “If you...don’t mind me prying…is anything the matter?”

“No-nothing. Just- yeah, it’s nothing.” 

“You sure?” Chenle leaned back in his chair having taken one last bite of the food from Jeno’s plate and sighed, again. 

“It’s nothing.”

“I mean you say “it” so it’s gotta be something.” Chenle’s empty plate stared back at him. 

“It’s just...I have to leave here soon…”

“ _Here_ here?”

“Yeah, _here_ here. House Six.”

“Mhm,” Jeno hummed. He’d been learning this past day that he was a great listener apparently. 

“And it’s just...Renjun usually doesn’t take to it well. Last time, we tried to sneak him in the boot of my car, by his suggestion.”

“And then?” Chenle laughed softly, recalling the memory. 

“He got caught when we were like half way up the motorway, about 10 kilometres away.” He stopped to laugh some more, and Jeno did too. “We got a flat tire and, well...the spare one was in the boot. You could say he got _booted_ out.” It felt good to Chenle, getting to tell that joke and it was finally funny again- Renjun had gotten so sick of it after a month. Jeno laughed harder at the pun, but then mentioned for Chenle to continue. 

“So then what’s the problem?” The atmosphere became sombre again. Chenle took a sip of water, and then said, 

“I’m scared he’ll...do something this time. Maybe take it out on you? I don’t know but like, I’m just worried for when I leave.” He was speaking faster now, in a rush to get out the words. Then he looked back down on his empty plate. “So, Jeno, what I was actually trying to say earlier.” It wasn’t, but he would play it like that. “Could you take care of him?”

“I-” Jeno was kind of speechless at that. But also, who was he to refuse to Chenle? “Sure. Sure, I’ll try my best.” Chenle smiled, a bright smile. 

“Thanks. He’d appreciate someone else.” There was a lingering question of “what about when _I_ leave?” on the tip of Jeno’s tongue, but he swallowed it down. He wouldn’t get _so_ attached to Renjun anyway. He got up and took both of their things to the sink.

“I’ll try my best.” And soon enough it was just him and the dishes left. 

Jeno sighed as he collapsed onto the bed for an afternoon nap. God knows he definitely needed it, after last night/this morning. He closed his eyes. 

“Renjun! Open up!” 

“Never!” Chenle sighed, and said, 

“That’s what you said last time. And the time before that...and before that. Come to think of-” Renjun cracked the door open then and let Chenle in, but not without a mindless grumble. 

“Look, Renjun,” Chenle said, not wanting to waste much time and figured this should be done sooner rather than later. “I’m leaving here in three days.”

“ _Here_ here?”

“That’s what- Yes,” Chenle stopped himself mid-sentence, figuring now was probably not the best time to bring up Jeno. 

“Okay.” That was it? 

“Okay?”

“What else did you expect me to say?” Renjun sat against the backboard of his bed, continuing with the dog-eared book. Chenle sat beside him. 

“Not gonna...try ‘n escape this time?” he said, gently but slightly teasing, a mischievous smile glinting. Renjun rolled his eyes. 

“I’ve grown up now. Of course not.”

“I came only six months ago.”

“Yes and I’ve _grown,_ ” Renjun insisted, trying to swat away a creeping Chenle. He wasn’t sure whether he was saying that to convince himself or Chenle. “The more you talk about it, the more I might actually consider it, you know.”

“I know.” There was some comfortable silence as Renjun flipped away at the book so fast Chenle began to wonder if he was actually reading, or just wanting to distract his mind. Probably the latter. He could almost read it at this point, just like a book

“I’ll try come again for Christmas, okay?” Chenle responded to unspoken words, on instinct. 

“Right, right, yeah…” Renjun trailed off. “You better bring Jisung next time.” Now it was Chenle’s turn to take a swat at him. He stared off into a space, replying, 

“I can try ‘n convince him. If we’re even still together by christmas.”

“Chenle!” Renjun abruptly looked up from the book, looking personally offended at the mere suggestion. 

“What? It’s a possibility.”

“Chenle,” Renjun took his hand seriously. “Never in our couple years apart have I seen you so infatuated with someone.”

“Yeah but-”

“You’ve told me so much about this Jisung, and he makes you so happy; I can tell. Trust him, and yourself.” Chenle nervously fiddled with his hair with his free hand. 

“You’re one to talk about trust.”

“I would trust anyone who makes my Chenle so happy,” came Renjun’s immediate answer. “And honestly, if you’re feeling insecure about it? Tell him. He sounds like the understanding type.”

“He is…”

“See? You two will be together for Christmas, and have many Christmases more.”

“How many people have I been able to keep so far? Zero. I wouldn’t speak so confidently.” Renjun huffed a sigh, closing the book with a thump. 

“Everyone keeps zero until they find the one.” Chenle opened his mouth to jump in, but Renjun quickly put a hand over it. “And don’t you dare tell me it was you again. We are _not_ having that talk again.” Chenle had flashbacks to _that_ talk; good god, it was one of the few times he came close to tears. That, and when Renjun left. His very best friend. He sighed and blew a raspberry. 

"I'll see. And hope." Renjun lay back on the backboard, satisfied. 

"Good," he smiled smugly.

Chenle moved to snuggle his side, clinging onto his arm. 

"When are you gonna tell him?" he asked, innocently playing with Renjun's sleeve. The elder's breath hitched. 

"Tell who what?" Chenle roughly scrunched the extra cloth that Renjun's arm couldn't fill. 

"You know exactly who and what."

"No, I don't." 

"Now you're just teasing _me_." Renjun missed the playful sparkle in Chenle's eye, yet somehow without looking, he could already see it. He stared down at the page in his lap, the words meaning absolutely nothing to him. 

"And what if I am?" He decided to respond. 

"Psh," Chenle said, unscrunching the cloth. "He'll be gone before you know it and you'll regret it."

"I won't," Renjun said with absolute certainty. Because that's what he felt, right? He wouldn't regret not telling him. Not as if he was going to see him again; he could blab about all his secrets to who knows, for all he cares. Jeno could do that. 

Oh god, Jeno could do that. 

"Are you sure?" 

"You're one to say _I'm_ teasing _you,_ " Renjun said as dryly as possible. Somehow it was a bit harder to do than usual. 

"I was just asking a question," Chenle grinned innocently. "And besides, _I_ came here to catch up with _you_ and all you've been talking about is _him_. Not that I mind of course," he quickly added. Renjun sighed. The page still didn't make sense and he hadn't turned it in nearly a minute- and half of it was diagrams. 

"Maybe I will. Maybe I won't. You don’t know.” He probably did, but was Renjun going to admit that to himself? No.

“You will.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because you know if you don’t, you’ll never see him again.” Ouch. That was a painful truth, to go with the painful pinch Renjun gave himself to concentrate on the book again. “At least if you told him, you either get accepted and he visits again if possible, or you get rejected but it doesn’t matter because you won’t see him again.” Those words; _you won’t see him again_. They hammered into Renjun’s mind, tattooing themselves there. His head hurt. His heart hurt. 

When Renjun was finally able to get words out again, he said, 

“But do I really like him _that_ much?”

“Probably.” Renjun kicked Chenle on the leg.

“Seriously.”

"Seriously? That's new from you." Chenle was silent, waiting for his answer. Even the air got stiller then, as if doing the same. “I don’t know. What if I do? And so what? It’s just...temporary.”

“Everything is temporary. Life is temporary.” He had a point, as usual. How was it that Chenle always had a point? “So go for it.” Renjun sighed, at last some words here and there making sense and registering. 

“I’ll see. You’ll know if I do.”

“Of course.”

Jeno was in a field. But a weird field; the flowers were all fuzzy, but not dandelions, and the grass refused to render out fully. Almost like he was in a video game. He was in a field, lying down, staring up at the clouds. They meant nothing to him, but today they seemed a bit more fluffy than usual- a bit more like they were going to drop a flying pig out of its back. There was laughter and a pointing finger beside him. The finger exclaimed, 

“That one looks like a treasure chest!” There was more laughter, more fingers being pointed, but Jeno couldn’t help but feel as if he was just a spectator to all of this. It wasn’t as if he was paralyzed, because he could turn to either side of him to just see...the faces. There were no faces. He blinked several times up to the sky, and the clouds blurred into one blob, a sheet covering everything. Tucking him in to sleep. More blinking and the only thing that changed was now there were tears in his eyes. 

“Aren’t I sleeping already though?” He asked out loud.

“How did you know?” A finger said, surprised.

In reality, his eyes twitched, and mouth murmured the words. The grass became even more pixelated, and the flowers disappeared completely. The sky blackened, Jeno closed his eyes. The laughter ceased. 

In the next dream world, Jeno found himself in a hotel corridor. Abstract art was hung on the walls, strange jazz music playing to accompany it. The corridor seemed never ending, and even when Jeno started running down it, the room doors never ended; 223, 224, they blurred passed him. He stopped for a breather and walked down instead. It wasn’t as if he was ever going to get to...wherever he seemed to be so desperate to get to. 

What could be at the end? Was there an end? To all of this?

The art got more and more...splotchy, and the music distorted, organ-like now. The carpet patterns, once so intricately thought out, now just a splash of brown. Upon passing room 265, one of the doors opened, an old man stepping out. Jeno stopped for a second to let him pass first. But he simply stood at the doorway, and pointed in the direction he had been running in. He didn’t say a word, and somehow in the dream this was considered socially normal and Jeno just smiled, and carried on running. 

The cool air of 24 degrees (reading off the thermostat) felt like nothing. The thumps of his trainers against the floor felt like nothing. Jeno stopped for his fifth breather, and he hung his head down, squeezing close his eyes. He looked up again, and there was a window, looking down on a busy street. A dull building opposite, and one next to it, and another one next to that one. Tiny people on the ground level, all hurrying around in the same monochrome colours. There were two doors on either side of the window; the end of the corridor. 298 and 299. Both the same colour, texture and card slot as the other doors before them. Jeno turned back and looked at all the doors he had passed before arriving to these ones- now they had all disappeared, and faded into an eerie fog. He reached into his jacket pocket, and pulled out a blank card. Jeno tried it on both of the doors: it worked on both. Both handles pushed down with no resistance. He closed his eyes to open the door on the right, holding his breath. When he was sure there was nothing that was going to hurt him, he peeked open one eye, and then both.

There was an elaborate winding stairway, decorated with marble ornaments and the mahogany steps looking as if they’ve never been stepped on before. The stairs were twisted, and led infinitely high. 

He tried the other door, opening it bolder this time. It was pitch black, and even when Jeno felt for any lightswitch, there was none, only closed walls. He tried kicking into the room, to feel if the back was as close to the door as he expected; it was. There was a loud knock as his foot struck against the wooden back of the room- a closet- but it resonated down the hall as if he had just hit metal. 

The echos bounced around in the fog, never to return back to him. The wall of fog had gotten thicker in the time Jeno took to open the doors, and as a test, he tried stepping back into it. It wasn’t having it; a cool breeze simply pushed him gently back to the doors. But then on the fourth try, the fog gave way and everything was white. Like paper, like he was a drawing in a child’s sketchbook. He walked forward again, towards the door, and he...was already there. Another one of him. 

He stood there, card in hand, opening in the right door as he had done a few minutes ago. Jeno peered out of the fog, expecting the other one to retreat to open the other door like he had done as well. But no; the other one simply walked into the right door. Out of curiosity, he walked out of the fog to where other-Jeno had entered. He shivered then, cautiously looking into the room. Something told him to not look back into the corridor again. Just don’t. And then the something told him to go into the other room: the closet. And so he did, unaware that he was being watched by another one of him from the fog. The closet blinded him, and the only indication that the door had closed behind him was the click of the lock. 

A click of the lock. 

“You okay in there- oh. Asleep. I’ll leave then.” Jeno restlessly turned over, so he wasn’t facing the door, and murmured something. “Huh?”

“I don’t know...stop…” he turned again, the sheets getting messy and his feet sticking out from the end. “Stop...no! No!!” He sat up suddenly, hitting his head on the backboard and rubbing his eyes. This was real life again; birds were chirping outside, sunlight streaming through the window, and Chenle at his door, still with a concerned look on his face. 

“Jeno...Jeno!”

“Y-yes?” He said, still rubbing his eyes. 

“Are you okay or…”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay. Just a weird dream.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Chenle made to go sit on his bed, but Jeno waved him away. 

“No it’s fine. Go spend time with Renjun- you came to see _him_ anyway.” Chenle chuckled at that, and sat on the bed anyway. 

“I’ve talked enough with him. Actually you never can, but I have. So what's up?" Jeno lay back down on the bed. 

“You know when…” Chenle nodded reassuringly. “You know when, there’s something small like on the inside of you. Telling you something. But it’s something you don’t like, so you ignore it. And then it gets bigger and bigger the more you ignore it. The run from it gets longer and longer.”

“Out of context, but sure. We’ll pretend I know what you’re talking about.” Jeno continued:

“Ugh...this would be easier if I could actually remember dreams for more than a minute after waking up,” he groaned, covering his face with the blanket. Chenle laughed at that. 

“Relatable, but either way, if there’s this thing telling you whatnot then you should remember at least what _that’s_ saying.”

“Yeah, I do. And I don’t like that either.”

“Well, what is it then?” Jeno, still covered by the blanket, just simply muttered out, 

“That I like Renjun.”

“I can’t hear you-”

“I like Renjun,” Jeno said, louder and uncovering himself. “I like him, romantically, and I don’t know how to deal with that.” Chenle didn’t look surprised, but pretended to be anyway. It wasn’t as if anyone couldn’t see right through him anyway. He gently placed a hand on Jeno’s lap. 

“Tell him the-”

“I’ve never liked anyone. Chenle! How to-!” He flopped back onto the bed, nearly hitting his head again on the backboard. 

“Tell. Him,” Chenle said firmly. 

“Advise me,” Jeno said, throwing the blanket off and sitting up next to Chenle, who looked baffled at that instruction. 

“What- How?” 

“You must’ve liked someone before. Someone _must’ve_ liked you. How. To. Deal,” He shook his Chenle’s shoulders over-dramatically. And so Chenle proceeded:

“Well, you’ve heard from Renjun already: we were both kept in the house...mansion...whatever you wanna call it, till...I don’t really remember how long now, but it must’ve been the majority of our lives. So naturally, we pretty much- no, we _only_ had each other- we were and are each other’s ride or die. When I tell you that- nope, that’s a story for another time.

 _Anyway_ , after advice from our tutor, and my own begging, my parents finally decided to send me to like, a proper _proper_ school. With a uniform, canteen, subject teachers and everything. I remember the day they told me...I immediately ran to tell Renjun. He cried- we both did- but anyway, it was already confirmed: I was to start at this new school in three months. The three months were a mixture of hectic online shopping and pouting from Renjun, I can tell you that. 

What I didn’t anticipate, was the fact that I didn’t really know how to make friends. To be honest, neither of us knew how to. So you can imagine how lost I was on my first day…” he paused to recollect the memories, a happy smile tugging at his lips. 

“All these people, all my age and all looking pristine in the uniform...it was all so...overwhelming. Just making it to my form class was a mess I think. Everyone had mostly ignored me, and I only ever got the occasional courteous smile from other students when I walked around. It was a clean start, and as messy and unorganised as it was, I was incredibly excited. But _anyway,_ the part of the story that really answers your question.

I didn’t meet Jisung until my second day of school, when I first had...I think it was a year group assembly. All 120 of us, piled into the dance studio, chattering about holidays that I had missed out on. I hadn’t made friends at all, because honestly I was content drifting around and at least learning where my classes were first. Then these 3 guys sat next to me, because there was no space left and all. I remember doing a once-over of all of them, not judgingly, just an assessment. One of them noticed, smiled, and went back to their conversation. I soon learnt he was Jaemin, when he got up to make a speech to us as the year group representative. And then I remember thinking, “Damn, I want to be friends with him.” Oh my _god_ , and then our year group teacher, introduced the new students, including me. The _stares_ , Jeno, I will never forget the mixture of _stares_ I got. 

It was a strange mix of curiosity, judgement and robot-like. Then he asked all of us to introduce ourselves oh my _god,_ ” he visibly cringed at that memory, and Jeno had the empathy to laugh. 

“ _That_ bad?”

“And worse still,” Chenle did a re-enactment of his introduction. To his defence, it was probably overdone, but Jeno got the idea. 

“And then I remember sitting back down and feeling my cheeks on fire. And then a poke on my hand, so I turned around. “It’s okay,” the guy said. “Everyone was like that.” He was from _that_ group I told you about.” Chenle paused there and shook his head. “I need to get to the point, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright. I don’t know much about you either, come to think of it.” A bright smile replaced the grim look Chenle had before, and he continued. 

“Anyway, that guy, I later learnt was Donghyuck, from the teacher telling him off for talking when he wasn’t supposed to. He apparently often did that. So now I knew the names of two thirds of the group, and as you can guess, the last one was Jisung. He hadn’t said anything to me, and didn’t even glance at me. Not even when I was introducing myself; he looked at the rest of the newbies. But somehow, he has the kind of gaze you can just _feel_. He was sitting a bit behind me, so...yeah. We hadn’t even interacted, but I was curious.

Then our first interaction...I think it was some hours later, in design tech. The teacher had pulled me aside, given me the thing to do and whatever, so I was getting on with that. All the work benches were already full, so I had to work on Jisung’s one. Then suddenly he asked me to hold something up quickly so he could take a measurement. His project seemed so elaborate, from the drawing. I did, and that was that. But no one had really paid much attention to me, so I ended up thinking about that one interaction for the rest of the day. 

Fast forward two weeks, and he was making a lot of progress on his project. I think it was supposed to be a shoe rack or something. Meanwhile, my shorter term task the teacher gave me because I came late in the year, was um...for lack of a better word, failing. Struggling. Look, finger joints are tedious. 

I still worked at Jisung’s bench, out of familiarity and habit. There was this one day I was really getting frustrated, because the line bender was apparently not working and I was too shy to ask the teacher for help. Line bending was so simple, yet I was messing up. And then Jisung came over to use it as well...and he flipped a switch. As in, I forgot to turn it on. I embarrassingly said “Oh. So _that’s_ why.” He looked at me so incredulously and said “This is really your first time doing practical, isn’t it.” Turned out he was a “renowned pro” at design tech and I was as amateur as could be. But still, we had a laugh about it after. So in all, our first proper _proper_ interaction had been me embarrassing myself.

Jisung ended up helping me along a lot for the following weeks, and it became something of familiarity and habit too. Afterwards, he would always smile and say “Tell me if you need anything.” And later, it was almost as if he actively looked out for me and my problems...which was...nice. Heartwarming in a way. 

I always saw him, Jaemin and Donghyuck sitting together at lunchtimes, so about two months in I plucked up the courage to ask if I could sit with them. Jaemin immediately accepted and made room next to him, and Donghyuck welcomed me. Jisung didn’t say anything, and even seemed to look away.”

“The point being?”

“ _Wait_! I’m getting there.” Jeno rolled his eyes.

“He always seemed distant at lunchtimes, only occasionally laughing at something Donghyuck says or teasing Jaemin. Both of them were quite friendly to me, no matter how awkward I was, but Jisung seemed equally awkward. I thought I’d never get anywhere with him. 

And then there was a week I was ill and had to stay home, to Renjun’s delight. When I came in next, Jaemin passed my locker and whispered to me “Jisung’s been missing you.” Literally just that, a wink, and he left. 

That day in DT, when I came into the workshop I particularly looked out for him. He immediately looked to see who was at the door, saw me and his eyes lit up. I got my work, took it to our bench and he slipped me a little piece of something: a little 3D printed attachment for my project. “Say that you did it,” he said, and went back to his work.”

Jeno squealed, both cringing and laughing at that, and Chenle slapped him lightly on the shoulder, also laughing. 

“It’s true!”

“Okay okay! I believe you. Carry on.”

“Then...time just kinda did its thing? There were a lot of little things he did to look out for me and well...as much as I was used to being, you know, _served_ , he had intentions. There wasn’t a need to, but like...you know?”

“No? I don’t know?” Jeno said, now getting a little impatient. 

“Okay that was a bad way to phrase it...more...he really didn’t have to, but he did anyway. But _skipping_ onto your thing about how to deal…”

“Finally!”

“You don’t,” Chenle just said simply. Jeno blinked several times, sarcastically. 

“What do you mean “you don’t”?”

“You just _don’t_ . I didn’t. I was in the same position as you, and I _couldn’t_ and _didn’t_ deal. You know, Jeno…” He trailed off and swung an arm around him. “All I can say is to not be scared. Don’t be scared of being loved and loving. It’s not as terrifying as it seems, I can tell you that.”

“Wh- That doesn’t answer my question?” 

“It’s the best answer I can give,” Chenle shrugged. Jeno thought for a second, and lay down again. 

“Was Jisung your first love?” He innocently asked. Chenle looked astounded, shocked even, at that question. 

“Ah, well, I _skipped_ the other parts…”

“Oh. So…”

“Yeah,” Chenle sighed. “As much as I regret it now, Jisung wasn’t my first. I guess that was _my_ way of ‘dealing’” He said with quotation gestures. Now that he thought about it more; why? Why did he hesitate? Jeno stood up then, and threw on a hoodie. 

“Well, thanks for the ‘advice’ on how to ‘deal’ then.”

“Yeah. Simple advice for something not-simple. You’re welcome.”

Chenle left House Six early the next morning, when the sun was stretching its back and yawning. A bright white car drew up the driveway, where Old Ma was already waiting. A woman just a bit younger than Old Ma, but with more kind eyes stepped out, with a reluctant Chenle and even more annoyed Renjun by his side. 

“Okay. Time to go,” Chenle’s mum said, opening her arms and expecting a hug. “Come on. You can visit again for Christmas.” Chenle stayed silent, clinging onto Renjun’s pyjama sleeve. Renjun himself was yawning, annoyed at being woken up but also almost teary eyed. He sighed, and gave Chenle a small push forward. 

“Go ahead. I’ll see you. Maybe Jeno will too. Maybe,” he whispered, his breath forming faint smoke in the cool air. Chenle turned to him, questioning; although Renjun was younger, he could tell he’d grown. Matured, in his own Renjun type of way. 

“I don’t want to leave.”

“Go ahead.”

Chenle’s mum was still smiling, and Old Ma had retreated back into the house. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“You sure?”

Renjun laughed at that, and pushed Chenle a bit firmer. “We’ll be okay.” Chenle pulled Renjun into a tight embrace, burying his face in his shoulder despite the fact he was taller. Renjun felt a small wet spot forming by his collar. 

“We’ll be okay,” Chenle whispered back, his voice breaking a little. 

“Yeah.” 

Renjun pulled away first, and motioned to Chenle’s mum, still standing there ever-patient. Chenle got in the car, waving one last goodbye out the window and it was over. 

Upon hearing the car pull away, the sun peeped through Jeno’s curtain’s, waking him up. He stretched, yawned and swung his legs out of bed just as he caught a glimpse of the car. Confused and still groggy, he padded to the front door, where a blast of cold air slapped him across the face as a real wake up call- nature’s way scolding him for not getting up on time to see Chenle off. 

Renjun was still standing at the door. Listless, empty, and practically sleeping whilst standing.

“Am I late?” Jeno croaked, still waking up. 

“Hm,” Renjun hummed in reply. “He’s gone now.”

“ _For_ now,” Jeno corrected. Renjun was silent, chest moving steadily up and down. 

“ _For now_ ,” he repeated louder. “He’s only gone _for now_.” Renjun murmured something under his breath, so quietly that still-half-asleep Jeno couldn’t quite catch. 

“Huh?”

“I said,” Renjun said. “I need a hug. Please hug me.” And hugs was what he got. 


	4. Chapter 4

The days after were certainly quieter without Chenle around. Colours were just a bit duller, and the sunshine no longer seemed warming, but irritating. Daily chores were more like just things to get done, and as mundane as they had always been, they were now monochromatic. Jeno was on at least civil terms with Renjun, the occasional shy smile being exchanged and then getting back to whatever they were doing. There was a place missing at morning teeth brushing, and even when Old Ma baked a cake to cheer them up, Jeno ate it out of gratefulness and Renjun refused it. 

The room at the end of the corridor was now just Renjun’s room now. There weren't really any rules per say; Jeno went in and out of the room as he pleased (but still wasn’t often because...Renjun didn’t need help often. And when he did, it was small, simple things. It made Jeno always leave wondering if he had just called him in to talk.) 

Alluring as Jeno still found Renjun, with Chenle gone it was more awkward than anything. 

“Morning.”

“G’morn. Sleep well?”

“Sure thing. Yeah,” Renjun would answer, and it was the same routine every morning. Small talks out of the holes in their hearts they needed filling. 

“Wanna play a board game?”

“I have chores to do, Renjun. As usual.” Renjun pouted at that and sullenly walked back to his room. Now that they were more comfortable with each other’s presence, neither of them bothered to argue about little things. As perhaps forced their puzzle pieces were, they seemed to fit well enough. 

Just perhaps, though. 

Really, only when Old Ma went out and during the night, would they freely talk about the odd whatnot and whoevers. Venue varied, but sometimes it would be the kitchen as they both coincidentally needed water, or Renjun’s room which Jeno insisted had a larger bed (It didn’t- Renjun was just smaller).

One particular night, there was a summer thunderstorm and Renjun entered the bathroom to find Jeno sitting on the toilet seat, fast asleep. 

“Jeno?” No answer from the sleeping boy. “Jeno!” Renjun shook him a couple times now.

“Hm? Is it morning yet?” 

“Morning? It’s 1am. And get out, ‘cause I need the toilet.”

“Out there? With the spiders?” Jeno said, wide eyed for someone who just woke up. “And the fireflies?”

“Oh god, he’s been dreaming again,” Renjun muttered under his breath. “I just came from “out there” and as far as I could tell: there were no spiders or fireflies. Nothing flying, nothing crawling, and no fire.”

“B-but,” Jeno said tucking his legs to his chest. “There are!” Renjun sighed. 

“Make room. I’ll sit there too.”

“Sit on my lap then.” Thank god neither of them had bothered turning on the light, or else it might’ve given away the flush on Renjun’s face. He sat on the floor in front of Jeno instead, and despite the whines, he refused Jeno's offer. 

"Jeno," Renjun started. "I've lived in this house for more than two years and I haven't seen a single firefly around. No- let me finish. And the largest spiders I've seen are the tiny kill-able ones. Nothing to be scared of out there." A crash of thunder seemed to vibrate the house. Renjun flinched at that, but concentrated on his breathing; like Chenle had taught him. Jeno acted as though he hadn't even heard it. 

"Nothing to be scared of out there," Renjun repeated, in a tone that made it seem like he was trying to convince himself. Cautiously, Jeno slid onto the narrow patch of floor next to Renjun. 

"Do you ever get weird dreams?" he said in a low voice. Lightning temporarily lit up the room. 

"Who doesn't?" 

"Yeah but the… _surreal_ ones. The ones you think have a meaning but it's so out there you don't know what it is." Oh, so _now_ he could talk. 

"Uh… I don't remember them, but probably."

"Okay, then make them nightmares. Tormenting monsters, sinking in quicksand, that sort of thing. That's the sort of thing I get sometimes."

"So to just confirm…you know there aren't scary things out there?" Jeno giggled and leaned into Renjun. 

"I was just messing with you. And I fell asleep here." Renjun put him in a chokehold for that, with a grin on his face. 

"I thought you were actually scared!" 

"Or maybe I just wanted an excuse to hug you." A short silence, thankfully covered over with more thunder. "But the dreams…?" 

"Did you want to talk about them or…? And if so could we do it in a more comfortable place? Just perhaps? Have you considered?" 

"Don't you think we're fine as is?" Jeno snuggled into Renjun's shoulder, only to be shrugged off. More lightning. Renjun didn’t flinch as much now, but pinched himself tighter. 

“Mhm. Sure. Up to you. So what did you think the dreams meant?”

“I never know. They’re so weird and surreal that they’re kinda hard to know.” What had I done to be discussing dreams in a bathroom during a thunderstorm at 1am, Renjun thought. But he let go of his arm (that he was pinching for comfort) and squeezed Jeno’s arm instead. 

“They say dreams are what you subconsciously feel, you know.”

“But I don’t know what _about_!” Jeno lied. Damn it Jeno, that was an opportunity. Some thunder, almost telling him to keep his voice down or else the sky would unleash its wrath. He nearly apologised. 

“Is there anything happening with friends back home?” Renjun grimaced at the thought of Jeno leaving as he mentioned his home. Other than being his only link to some civilisation, but also his link to just about anything. 

Oh god, Jeno would have to leave soon. He gripped slightly tighter, and hoped he wouldn’t notice. 

“If there was I would know by now! And besides, I can have multiple in one sleep...and I don’t even know if they’re linked. They’ve gotten more weird since I’ve gotten here.”

“Maybe it’s something in the water doing stuff to your brain.”

“Maybe. Or maybe it’s you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah,” Jeno smiled at his re-gaining of composure. “ _You_ do stuff to my brain.”

“Other than making you feel dumb when helping me for physics?” 

“...We don’t talk about that.”

“Are...they good things?” Renjun quiered. Jeno hesitated on answering, as his brain buffered from both the close proximity and the absurdity of the whole situation. 

“Y-yeah. They’re great things. Things I’ve never felt.” His mouth ran away from him, now at this point not exactly caring about filtering mind to lips. Renjun’s lips…

“O-oh.” Thunder had been very nicely timed thus far; just in time to fill silences. Renjun looked down at his legs stretched out in front of him, not really daring to look at Jeno in the eye and even confirm his suspicions; he shook his head at that thought. No, not now. Not yet.

It was Jeno who broke the silence this time. 

“Do you wanna sleep?” Anticlimactic, but what else was he going to do- confess?

“If _you_ want to.” Jeno yawned and leaned onto Renjun’s shoulder again. And managed to stay there. 

“Oi, don’t sleep on _me_ , loser.”

“Mhm. Indeed, a loser. Me.” Jeno was already starting to doze off, and as much as he would’ve liked to sit for a bit longer and definitely not admire the peaceful resting expression and Jeno’s long eyelashes, he shook him awake a bit and whispered he would drag him back to his room, across the corridor. After a low hum and a gentle curve of his lips (that Renjun was definitely not paying special attention to), the two finally got off the cramped bathroom floor. Lightning flickered the hallway as they got out, Jeno practically sleep walked back to his room. By the time Jeno’s body hit the bed, he was softly snoring. Just as Renjun made to leave the room back to the room at the end of the corridor, a murmur came from the bed. He knelt beside it and as if he knew he was there, Jeno repeated it louder:

“I should’ve said I love you.” Barely audible, simple, but when sleep-talked; rather endearing. 

Renjun bit his tongue to hide a smile he knew Jeno wouldn’t see anyway, but to say a wave of relief washed over him was an understatement. He leaned over and kissed Jeno’s temple. He took one last glance before closing the door, and sighed, resolving then and there to confess before the last grain of sand hit the bottom of the hourglass. 

Jeno appeared unaware of his sleep talking the night before, and airily greeted Renjun good morning at the sink. 

"Sleep well?" 

"Sure thing. Yeah." Jeno shook his head and spit out the toothpaste at the predictable response. 

"Is there ever a night when you don't sleep well?" 

"Jeno, for someone so smart, you're rather dumb," Renjun stared back at him through the mirror. Something about his untamed morning hair- a more than regular sight- made him enchanting, in a raw kind of way. 

"Says you," Jeno rolled his eyes with a grin, and exiting the bathroom to his room. Breakfast wasn't quite ready yet so he took the opportunity to check through his phone; these days there were at least a hundred unread messages from the group chat with his friends. But this morning, a series of messages from his mother joined them:

"I'll be picking you up in a week. 

Make sure to pack up everything properly and be polite. 

Work hard."

Typical mother. 

But oh god; he was leaving in a week. 

_Here_ , here. House six. Renjun. Fuck. 

He threw down the phone, figuring his friends could wait a couple hours more. The bed invited him to slump back, savour its new familiarity. The pillow almost suffocated him, but it was the warmth he needed. 

"I won't tell Renjun," he thought out loud. "But I should. I really should. Ugh!" Meanwhile Old Ma's calls from the kitchen forced him to get out of bed for the second time. 

Renjun was already there by the time he got there, munching on a pastry. Raspberry pie. Sweet, how fitting. 

"So Jeno," Old Ma said. "How does it feel to be leaving in a week?" So much for not telling Renjun. 

Jeno gulped down the earl grey tea to buy time to think of an acceptable answer. Amazing? No, too offensive. Sad? Too generic. 

He looked over to Renjun, still chewing. There wasn't a trace of emotion on his face. 

"Uh. Weird," he settled on. Neutral.

Old Ma nodded and went back to scrubbing dishes. He stared at his plate of pastries- suddenly they weren't so inviting. Renjun tapped him on the shoulder and leaned over. 

"Is it true?" he whispered. Again, no trace of anything. 

“My mum texted me. So yes.” He prodded around at the food with his fork. They were starting to get cold now. One week more. 

“Oh.” Renjun stuffed another puff into his mouth and slid his chair out, walking right out of the kitchen. He didn’t even bother to put his plate at the sink. Old Ma sighed, and put it there herself. Jeno thought she heard her mutter something about old habits coming back. 

“By the way, you’re free for your last week. Do what you want,” Old Ma said, flowing water drowning her feeble voice. “If you want to go out, just be home by eight.”  
“Thank you. I might just,” Jeno replied, at last deciding to eat at least something, so as to not make Old Ma feel bad. As flavourful as the pastries definitely were, today they were rather bland. Not to mention the empty seat beside him was jaring. 

“Co-could I take these to my room to eat?” Old Ma arched an eyebrow. 

“Your room, yes. Wash up your things when you come back.”

“Thank you for the breakfast!” Jeno managed in as cheery a voice as possible. It was the fastest he’d ever gone out of that kitchen. 

“My room, huh,” Jeno thought, placing the fairly-full plate by his bedside desk. “This place isn’t mine.” It was weird to think that now. He may miss its peeling wallpaper, flickery lamp and musty cupboards, with their creaky hinges. But most of all, he knew just what he’d miss especially. 

The pastries didn’t taste much better here. Maybe because he wasn’t sharing them. 

He peeked out the door, towards Renjun’s room at the end of the corridor. It was silent, and the door was closed. Taking an eclair, he snuck down the hallway and knocked. And knocked again.

Three times, for luck. 

A loud sigh came from the inside.

And then Renjun opened the door, leaning against the side of the frame. Whether he was trying to not be annoyed or cry was unclear. 

“Uh…” Jeno hadn’t planned this far. “Want an eclair?” Renjun stared at the food in his hand. After a moment of silence, he took it. 

“Thanks.” 

And Jeno was facing a closed door again. 

He knocked again, and this time Renjun opened on the first knock, tugging him inside and closing it quickly behind him. Probably too loudly, but it wasn’t as if Old Ma could hear anyway. 

Jeno stood awkwardly by the door, watching Renjun sit on his bed with a half-eaten eclair. 

“Stop standing there like a statue.” A wave of adrenaline rushed over Jeno, who sat carefully down next to him, as implied. Renjun popped the last bit of the eclair into his mouth. 

“Can I ask just an important question…” he said once he finished chewing. It had looked like a thousand thoughts ran through his brain before that sentence, and they had. 

“Go ahead.” Breathe, Jeno. 

“Will...will you forget me?”

Renjun was staring at the floor now, as if the swirls of oak were so interesting. He forced himself to breathe, and closed his eyes. Just for a moment, he imagined them both on a beach. Seagulls, quiet waves, and bliss. Peace. Just the two of them. 

And then the vision was gone. 

“No. I don't think I'll forget you.” The words were somehow harder to get out of his throat than Jeno anticipated- as if the letters clogged up and got stuck half way up. It was a miracle how they didn’t get mixed up in the process. 

“Will I see you again?” Renjun said, a single tear falling on his cheek. Jeno simply laughed at that; the seriousness of it all, yet also the heaviness.

The weight that question carried to both of them, though Jeno was only aware of his side.

“I don’t know,” he truthfully answered. He didn’t know- and that was scary. 

Arms folded around his waist, and Renjun was hugging him from the side. He was silent, hiding his face behind Jeno’s back. 

Jeno hugged back, bringing Renjun’s head to his chest; that way he was sure Renjun could hear his heartbeat, drumming up a rhythm of sorrow. The last of what would leave a hollow, aching feeling right about there. He was half tempted to leave a kiss on the crown of Renjun’s head- fully tempted, rather. 

But not yet. Just not yet. 

With no chores to do, hours passed quickly along. He and Renjun finally got around to playing those board games; he was convinced he had won most of them and Renjun, the opposite. 

“You can’t do that!” He had exclaimed when Jeno kicked out one of his pieces he landed on the space with. 

“Oh yes I can!” Jeno had retorted, immediately getting out his phone to check.

“Fine. Have your way. I’ll win anyway.” To Jeno’s amusement, he didn’t. 

“We are absolutely _not_ playing monopoly,” Jeno said as soon as the monopoly man stuck out of the cupboard. 

“But it’s great.”

“Do you- no it’s not!”

“If you dislike it that much then I’ll just make you go bankrupt and we can move on.”

“...over my dead body.” And that was how they started to play a game of monopoly that lasted for more than an hour.

“One, two, three,” Jeno counted as his piece landed right in front of Renjun, sitting opposite him. He grinned complacently, as if challenging Renjun to stare right back. Neither of them moved. 

“Maybe the trick is to focus on anything but the eyes…” Renjun thought, and failed at doing- he was just too captivated. The subtleties in Jeno’s eyes were coloured; like you could read it like a book of poems. And then sheen of galaxies that filmed them- a thin sheet to cover the soul that Renjun had grown so very fond of. And still, a twinkle of intensity, navy coloured, against the backdrop of chocolate brown. 

Finally his hours of staring at a screen were paying off, as Jeno stared straight into windows of a house above the sky. Cloudy, but glimmering and rippling. A world where myths are real, and Cupid really had shot an arrow. A world where forests raged with creatures of darkness, only looking to be cared for and not looked through like glass. A castle stood in the middle of all of this- regal and majestic. Cracked walls, yellowed tower and rusted bell. Yet a picture of elegance to Jeno- strength through countless wars. 

“You win,” Renjun squeezed his eyes and tore himself away. Both of their eyes stung, but in the best way possible. 

“I thought so. Now where were we…”

“Do you ever go out, Renjun?” Jeno asked one afternoon. They’d both been studying (read: lazing) in his room for the day. Four more to go now. 

“Out of this house? Of course,” Renjun said, scritching away with the pencil. 

“How come you haven’t left since I came. Or like, went out with Chenle.”

“...I was sick and had to go to the doctors?”

“That doesn’t count.”

“Why not? I left the house.” Scritch, scratch. Jeno heaved a sigh. 

“Doesn’t it get boring?”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Renjun looked up at last. “But this place has next to zero things to do. I’m not restricted on going out, I just don’t like to.” There was something very final and certain about his tone, and he went back to sketching. 

“Plus, all the people here are the same old. Emphasise on the _old._ ”

“Including me?” Renjun glanced up again, studying Jeno’s earnest face for a second, before saying,

“No. You’re different, of course. So is Chenle. And you were both here, so why leave?” Jeno’s heart jumped a little at that. Sunlight caught on the page where Renjun was lying on his tummy. 

“But…”

“But?”

“But you must’ve attempted to run away when you first got here.”

“Not at all,” Renjun said to Jeno’s surprise. Before he could ask why not, he continued, “Little place, little people. No security, no shady people. I gave up after Chenle called when I got here and said he was moving to his own family house instead. It was closer to his school.” Graphite smudged onto the side of his hand. The bluntness of everything hushed Jeno temporarily, and he scrolled through his phone instead: generic holiday pictures consecutively. His friends must be having fun.

When he next looked up, a planet-like drawing had bloomed onto Renjun’s paper. 

“What’s that?”

“I don’t know. Could be Earth, could be some random planet, could straight up be a ball. Who knows? Not me.”

“...It’s pretty.”

“Mhm? You think?”

“Yeah. I mean it.” Jeno was leaning over the edge of the bed now, with Renjun craning his neck a bit upwards to meet his face. If he just shuffled a little closer…

“Thanks.” He smiled softly to himself; someone other than Chenle liked his drawings. Memories of his mother waving a dismissive hand away when he tried to show them to her trickled back, like a leaky pipe. 

Since coming to House Six, his business was his business only. Guests often surrendered to his confusing ways, with the exception of Jeno, and let him be. Probably blabbing to their friends back home about the weird kid who wouldn’t stop switching between personas. A complicated cycle, but it worked. 

And then Jeno came along. Just had to ruin the perfect cycle; wearing it down as if it were a tissue forest with string roots. And doing it all whilst replacing it with a field of flowers. Sweetly scented, and open to run wild through. The captive of the castle was set free. 

Renjun drew on fireworks in the background of the drawing. 

  
  


Three days left. Two, if you don’t count the day Jeno actually leaves. 

"Jeno, what do you think about love?" Renjun asked suddenly, the moon blinking in submission back. 

Jeno had knocked on his door at midnight, claiming he was bored, and the garden fence was inviting him to climb over. Just for tonight. And that’s how the pair ended up in an overgrown field on a spare blanket, wind blowing rustling leaves ominously in the darkness.

“You sure you’re not cold?” Jeno had said. Renjun waved his hand and settled on sitting on just a patch of the blanket. Three minutes passed and he shuffled closer. 

“Could we share?” Of course they could. 

"What? Me?" Renjun gently slapped him on the arm. 

"Who else?" Jeno re-adjusted himself so the blanket covered his back; it was chillier than usual tonight. He brought his knees to his chest and leaned onto Renjun’s shoulder. 

"Well, love is a lot of things, and there's lots of kinds of it- something I wish my friends knew. God knows the messes they could've avoided if they knew."

"Did you not tell them?" 

"I did. They didn’t listen to me. That, or they took it through one ear and it came out the other."

"They don't seem like very good friends," Renjun commented. 

"Oh no!" Jeno exclaimed, gesturing in defence. "They've proved so many times I'm so lucky to have them and I'm super grateful to them. It's just in the love department…it's a bit different."

"How so?" 

"I think it's that they can't trust me with that sort of thing. Mainly, because I've never been in love. Or least I don't think so," he quickly added. Could never be _too_ too dishonest. 

"You've…never been in love?" 

"I don't know," he shrugged, hoping that would help his case. "Romantic love, I find, is the most complex of them all. There's so many ways to express, so many ways it can go wrong; when used wrongly it's just…all very complicated. I don't know! I don't know," Jeno started to get flustered and spoke faster towards the end. Goosebumps. 

"Do you want me to help you?" 

"What are you planning to do, Huang Renjun?" Jeno playfully squinted and leaned close to Renjun's face.

"Perhaps...could I kiss you?" 

There was a deafening short silence, in which Jeno slowly pulled away, thinking, and although it was probably only a second or two, it felt like a minute for Renjun. Then finally, an answer:

"Now?" 

"Yeah."

"Here?"

"Yes, Jeno. Can I kiss you?" Adrenaline poured throughout Renjun then and he could physically hear his heartbeat, drumming ever faster at the back of his ears. 

"Okay," Jeno answered. "Sure. You can kiss me." Renjun started to close the distance between their lips, but hesitated as he got closer. 

"You've answered a lot of my questions. Time for me to answer at least one of yours."

And with that, their lips met. 

Jeno abruptly pulled away after about three seconds, heart pounding away. He immediately blurted out, 

"I'm in love. With you."

"I'll miss you," he simply replied, and pulled Jeno back in. "We should've done this sooner," he murmured between messy kisses. 

“You really could’ve just told me...weeks ago, you know.” They were now lying on the blanket, wrapped cocoon-like and stargazing. “What was stopping you?” Renjun said. 

“Everything!” Jeno laughed. Although it literally didn’t, the sound resonated. “Everything was stopping me!”

“Specifically?” Jeno elbowed Renjun in the warmth. 

“Can we move on?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.” A whimsical smile was growing on Renjun’s face then. Grass tickled his cheeks and for once he didn’t care there were probably ants around. Jeno noticed from the corner of his eye and planted a kiss on his lips. 

“Please?”

“Still no.”

“Why?” The pout could be heard even when Renjun wasn’t looking. 

“Because.” Crickets. A bleat of a sheep in the distance. 

“...Your lips are cold.”  
“And what are you gonna do about that?” Renjun smirked. 

“What do _you_ want me to do about it?”

“What do you _think_ I want you to do about it? Warm them. I’d appreciate that.” Jeno rolled his eyes, but tilted Renjun’s head by the chin so they were face to face. 

“Promise we can move on afterwards?”

“...depends. Kiss me either way though.”

Sunrise: something at that point Renjun was quite used to seeing. By now, they’d moved the blanket so they could lean against the fence and sit properly. “For the good of our dead spines,” Jeno had said. 

Two days. 

“Do you think we should head back in now?” Renjun asked. Both their throats had gotten progressively sorer from talking and laughing, and they just hoped Old Ma wouldn’t talk to them today. 

“But you look so comfy. And cuddly,” Jeno protested, refusing to let him go. 

“Tomorrow then.”

“Today, you mean.”

“...today. Yes. I meant that.” A rooster crowed from a rooftop, and night clouds made way for the sun. Soon enough, they were back in Renjun’s room through the window, and Jeno was rubbing his eyes out of tiredness; it was worth it though. A quick kiss on the cheek, and both of them had headed off to their beds, so at least they’d look like they were sleeping as normal. Neither of them said a word, yet there was almost a telepathic message they both knew: two days. Two days until they may never see each other again. 

“Your breakfast is getting cold, Jeno,” Old Ma poked her head around his door without greeting. Something told him that she was probably just getting tired of the extra mouth to feed at this point. 

“Ah huh. Thank you.” He rolled over and smacked his lips. 

“C’mon sleepy loser,” a different voice said. Some footsteps and suddenly Renjun was shaking him awake. “I wanna eat,” he dragged out the vowels and tried to pull Jeno up. Jeno made some frustrated noises. 

“Then go eat.”

“But then I wanna spend time with you. Remember?” As if Jeno didn’t; the thought was constantly pressing at the back of his head. Almost headache inducing. 

“Make me.”

“Make you wake up? Alright.” 

“Ah!” Renjun had jumped right on top of Jeno’s sleepy body, and the bed creaked, definitely not made to handle the force. 

“Get! Up!”

“I said make me!” It was more of a fight to keep his eyes closed now, as Renjun’s kisses on his eyelids made him ticklish, as he squirmed under the covers. 

“Okay! Okay, fine.” Jeno gave in and sat up. Renjun placed a kiss on the side of his mouth;

“Ew, morning breath. Go brush.”

“You love it though!” Jeno called behind him as he trudged reluctantly to the bathroom. 

“I really don’t, but we can go with that.”

The remainder of that day was spent thinking about anything except the rapidly approaching deadline- as inevitable as it was, neither of them at this rate were prepared to accept it. Like an ocean wave: it would meet them and take one with it. 

There was a part of Jeno that secretly hoped his ghost would live on here, his double, perhaps? A new parallel universe to form where he didn’t have to leave. Come to think of it, there would also be one where they had never confessed. And one where Renjun never told him anything, or one where Chenle never came. 

He silently chewed his pancake, these thoughts rushing through. A finger poked at his elbow resting on the table to prop his head up. 

“What should we do later?”

“I was thinking we make a cake. Something sweet.” He wasn’t thinking that, but that had always been a reflex whenever a friend asked him what they should do: make a cake. They say that cooking heals the soul, Jeno was in dire need of said soul-healing. 

“Do you know how to?”

“Nope,” Jeno said, popping the p. 

“Great. Because neither do I.”

Needless to say, by afternoon the kitchen looked as if a hurricane had ran through it and emptied out its cupboards onto the surfaces. With added boys standing in the middle of the mess, tagging each other with whipped creamed noses, giggling until their sides hurt and cheeks ached. 

The cake turned out way too chocolatey and actually collapsed in the centre, but not that either of them cared much about the cake anymore. There was a bittersweetness of it all- ironic as they impulsively also added zest and juice from just one too many oranges (they got carried away with the sounds the juicer made)- as the wave approached ever closer. 

“I’m exhausted,” Jeno said as he combed through freshly showered hair at the mirror. A clingy Renjun was hugging him from behind, wrapping a towel around his bare torso. 

“You’ll catch a cold or else,” he insisted. “But it’s our second last night!”

“We still have another one after-”

“We! Need to savour! The memories!” Renjun bounced as he emphasised the words.

“I promise,” Jeno laughed, “I will come back. Now gimme me shirt,” he pointed to the hook on the door. 

“You promise though? You really do?” Renjun tossed the shirt over. 

“Really really. I promise.” He shook out his hair and pulled the shirt on and put an arm around Renjun on his right, studying them both in the foggy mirror. “We look good together.”

“Not just good. The _best_.”

“Of course of course. The very best,” Jeno hummed and kissed Renjun on the earlobe. “Our best.”

  
  


The last day passed by in a blur of colours. The entire rainbow, with added hues. Thankfully, no more tears, but Renjun had a feeling it was because they’d release the day after. 

Neither of them slept particularly well on that last night; both heads filled with thoughts orbiting a black hole saying “less than a day now” and slowly edging closer and closer to the event horizon. 

Jeno lay blinking at the ceiling, the news from a week ago still taking time to sink in. As much as he hated to say, he would miss most things about this place: the temperature control on the shower that never seemed to work (Renjun had played _that_ prank on him again that afternoon “for old time’s sake” to his indignation), sweaty greenhouse, constantly finding new things in the same cupboard every time he opened them. Sometimes he would think this place was an entrance to Narnia. But yes, he would miss it all. 

He drifted in and out of consciousness, never quite falling asleep. 

Meanwhile Renjun was slightly more active- pacing up and down his room to tire himself so he could sleep. Not that this was the first time he’d tried it and it had failed. He contemplated texting Chenle a 15th message in the past 10 minutes, but decided against it; Chenle was probably (had better be) asleep by then. He stared out the window, searching for stars as he did. There were none that cloudy night. Sighing, he closed up the window and drew the curtain, putting his hand on the glass to play with the marks it made. They would disappear quickly after he let go- disappear into the air. He sat on the bed, and stood up. Sat and stood, a never ending cycle at this point, as was everything in his life. “Why must you do this?” he pleaded at his own mind, going round in its own circles. “Do you really have nothing else to think of?” Silence. And the cycle repeated. 

Jeno had one last dream before he left House Six. It was another one of those surreal ones, and at that point he’d learnt not to question them. 

He dreamt that he was in a black room, with a hole pricked at the top where a point of light entered, creating some sort of spotlight on the floor. Sometimes the light would occasionally flicker, or waver in intensity. Other times it would change colours. And at some point, he got entranced, hypnotised from the corner he sat in. The light dimmed, and he moved towards it. It dimmed to nearly nothing, and still there was something that tugged his body to it. Now it only covered a small area on the floor, and he stepped into it. 

Light flooded the room at once, until the walls looked white. 

And then it stopped.

It was turned off, and Jeno was alone in a white room. 

He had definitely not set an alarm to ring an hour earlier than needed, just so he could go and wake Renjun up for once. A joyful tune sounded from his phone, and he begrudgingly sat up to turn it off. He stretched his back, and it hit him: today. It was gazing right at him. 

“Fuck fuck _fuck_ ,” he muttered to himself, hurryingly getting dressed into whatever was lying around. Since when was his suitcase not packed? Oh, and _the toiletries in the bathroom._ When he was going to pack them, was a good question he didn’t have the answer to. 

“Good morni-oh.” Jeno burst open the door, and drooped his shoulders upon seeing Renjun sitting in bed with a textbook. 

“Hm. Indeed, it is a good morning,” Renjun said, not looking up from the book. 

“Because I’m leaving?”

“You know very well that it’s the opposite of a good morning- why do you ever believe me.” He flipped the book shut and Jeno jumped into his open arms. 

“Why are you up so early though?”

“I should ask you the same thing.” 

“...Maybe I wanted to wake you up for once.”

“And maybe I just couldn’t sleep.”

“But a textbook?” Jeno picked it up, saying textbook as if he was saying “expired milk”. “Really? Nothing better?”

“Chenle’s in school already.”

“...That’s fair.”

Four hours. 

“Renjun I need to _pack_ ,” Jeno protested as Renjun dragged him back to his room after breakfast. 

“Who cares about _packing_?”

“Okay compromise; you help me pack.”

“...deal.”

“Gimme those shorts- ah!”

“Head shot!”

“And the shirt too- stop!!”

“You should’ve seen that coming.”

“Ugh why are these so _wet._ ”

“...They’ve been in the bathroom?”  
“Scandalous. Wait isn’t this mine?”

“You can put it back if it’s yours. I just kinda grabbed everything.”

“Jeno!”

Two hours. 

A car pulled up to the driveway, but not that either of them had noticed until a knock came. A knock that signaled the end of the beginning. 

Old Ma opened the door, greeting Jeno’s mother brightly and calling for Jeno. Saying something about his mum being here to take him home.

“Wait a second!” He called back, and turned to face Renjun. Neither of them particularly wanted to say anything; make the time last longer. “Well…”

“This is it.” 

“This is it.” They were silent for a few seconds, then Renjun spoke,

“After all that, and you haven’t even asked for my phone number.”

“You- what?”

“What do you think I’ve been using to text Chenle?” Renjun snatched Jeno’s phone from his grip and entered his number in checking twice through blurry eyes. He gave it back, with a kiss on the forehead and a tight hug. 

“Muppet. What have you done to me?” He choked out. Don’t cry, Jeno. Your mother would see the red eyes, or else. 

“You deserve to be loved.”

“You love me?”

“I love you.” Jeno held Renjun fiercely close. “I love _you_.”

“I’m a lot of different things.”

“And I love them all.”

“Jeno!” This time his mother called, and they were forced to let go. A dull ache formed in Renjun’s chest, and Jeno’s arms couldn’t help but have goosebumps from the chill. 

“Coming!” They both stood up and Jeno grabbed his suitcase in the corner. “This is goodbye for now, then.”

“Yeah.” 

“Jeno!!” Damn, since when did his mother want him back so badly?

“I know!” Jeno held the back of Renjun’s head, placing one final kiss on his lips. Short, so as to not make it too difficult. Oh, how he wished the lingering tingle on his lips never left. 

“Goodbye, Renjun.”

“Bye.” 

The word stung his eardrums, all the way until Jeno was in the car and speeding away from House Six. The gravel car park, then the motorway. And suddenly, his phone vibrated. Contact “My Renjun” flashed up on the screen. 

_Jeno_

_Jeno Jeno_

_Yeah?_

_I miss you so much_

_Love you too_

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading uwu
> 
> This fic is basically the culmination of about 3.5 months of work and I wrote at least a sentence a day lmao so I'm kinda proud of it hehe. Ik it's not VERY romance-centric, but tbh that's what I intended. Hope you enjoyed!


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